Our Enneagram type’s job is to protect us, to keep us safe. Type (or internal parts) form patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior that shield us from being hurt, wounded, and in pain. These parts of our type have a lot of power, but no matter how hard they work on our behalf…life inevitably presents triggers and activations.
We DO eventually experience all the things our type (or internal parts) try to avoid. It happens to everyone. We all get activated, wounded, and hurt. Here is where we need deep breaths. Take a few now. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Let your breathing deepen and slow.
As you breathe, allow your awareness to flood with love, seeing your type/ego/parts. Then notice where in the body you feel them. Next ask what they need from you. Often our type/ego/parts need a loving witness, to be seen and known. With intention ask yourself, what new choices might be before me? If type cannot protect me in the same way it’s always done, how can I expand, grow, and heal while facing this activator? What new, healthy ways can I respond?
If you have any trouble locating these internal parts or energies, here is a list of common activators for each Enneagram Type. These are some places and events that require deep breaths! Do any of them resonate with you?
Type 1
• When others dismiss my emotions, not understanding that I’m sensitive and emotionality takes work.
• When life gets messy and I don’t feel like I have control.
• When my concerns aren’t heard; it feels unjust.
• When I or others fail to meet my expectations.
Type 2
• When I’ve worked hard to make others feel seen and known but that energy isn’t reciprocated.
• When my emotions are strong and I feel them deeply.
• When others are suffering and I don’t know how to help.
• When I feel rejected or that people don’t understand me.
Type 3
• When I hit my energetic limit, it’s like everything shuts down, and I’m fully done.
• When I’m brave enough to share, and others don’t listen.
• When my valiant efforts on your behalf are disrespected.
• When I don’t know how I feel and my insides are a confusing tangle that I can’t grasp.
Type 4
• When others don’t get me, despite how hard I’ve worked to communicate my nuance and complexity as a person.
• When I’m ignored or left out; when I’m slighted.
• When life is so raw, I feel it in the marrow of my bones.
• When my emotions overwhelm me, I need to take deep breaths.
Type 5
• When my emotions are safe to emerge, and they do so at once in an overwhelming rush.
• When all the choices feel bad, and there is no logical solution. When I feel trapped.
• When I’m called awkward, and I already feel like I don’t fit in.
• When I’m left out just because I’m quiet and reserved.
Type 6
• When I ask for help and I’m disappointed. When someone doesn’t show up for me.
• When people don’t treat me as worthy and valuable.
• When I feel out of control, and my plans aren’t working.
• When my worries and concerns are invalidated.
Type 7
• When I’m judged or when someone doesn’t talk to me directly about being upset.
• When people fail to live up to the good opinion I have of them.
• When my sadness and pain linger longer than I’d like.
• When my ideas fall flat or don’t pan out like I’d hoped.
Type 8
• When I’m tired because there is a right thing to do, and no one is doing it but me.
• When my emotions bubble to the surface and I feel them.
• When people I counted on seem to betray me.
• When others misunderstand my passion as anger.
Type 9
• When I work so hard to set healthy boundaries and they are not respected.
• When I’ve let tasks pile up and I’m totally overwhelmed.
• When people I love are treated unfairly or cruelly.
• When I’m so understanding of others, but they willfully misunderstand me.