Loving the 9 Enneagram Types

As an Enneagram Type 5, I love to get all wordy and deep, maximizing the nuance and complexity of an issue. However, sometimes we need life to be simple. Sometimes we just need a hit of wisdom to apply here and there; it can truly make a lasting difference.

Here are some quick tips for loving each Enneagram Type well. Next week, we’ll go through respecting each Type!

Loving a Type One:

Their bluntness is more a product of inner critic than anything about you. Have a compassionate, detached chuckle when your 1 says something breathtakingly blunt.

Loving a Type Two:

Constructive criticism must be sandwiched. “You’re awesome + Have you thought about this? + I love you so much.” Gently does it.

Loving a Type Three:

You’re in task mode. Uh, hey, you’re in task mode. *grab by lapels* Fucking stop doing shit and relax! I want to be with you right now. Seriously. Love you.

Loving a Type Four:

After 15 minutes of a full spectrum emotional experience, pat the couch beside you, give your 4 a cuddle and remind them, “I love you exactly as you are.”

Loving a Type Five:

Please, dear god, interrupt your 5 mid word vomit information monologue and ask them if they would like a hug. If they say yes, make that hug authentic, tight, and long. Whisper, “You’re already good enough.”

Loving a Type Six:

If they bombard you with affectionate communication, know it’s more about believing they might be abandoned, than anything to with your trustworthiness. Have clear boundaries, but also affirm your love. A lot.

Loving a Type Seven:

I’m here for you no matter what you’re feeling. It’s okay to be sad, life is still wonderful. Love you.

Loving a Type Eight:

Stand toe-to-toe, nose-to-nose and remind them that while they are strong as hell, they can be vulnerable now. “You are safe with me. Let out your heart.”

Loving a Type Nine:

Ask them how they feel / what they think and then come back in an hour for the answer. “Because I love you, I want you to have time, but I also really want to know YOU.”

Enjoy your day! – Melissa

*Be sure to check out my new Enneagram Self-Love Downloads you can print and use instantly!*

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