Enneagram Nine with One Wing » Enneagram Paths Coaching

“Peace is more than the absence of war. Peace is accord. Harmony.”
― Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone

Today on the Enneagram Paths Blog we are lucky to hear from Kelsey Vaughn, an Enneagram Type Nine. Nines are often called “The Peacemakers,” but they are so much more complex and wonderful than a one-line label. Nines are usually are pleasant people, calming to be around, grounded, and fun. They work hard for causes they believe in and stand up for injustice. They love fiercely and are loyal friends. I need to do a Type Nine basics post soon!

Happy to have you, Kelsey, let’s get to it!

1. When and how did you discover that you are a Type Nine?

I took an online Enneagram test in college but felt like my results didn’t really fit me, and didn’t think much of it for a couple of years after that. Then I started seeing a therapist who does some work with the Enneagram, and found out that I’m a Nine, which fits me much better than whatever I was mistyped as before!

2. What do you love about your number? What do you dislike?

I love that I’m able to bring peace into people’s lives. I love that I’m adaptable and able to bond with people by adopting their interests and passions. I love that I can understand and empathize with almost anyone. I dislike my tendency to withdraw from conflict and my lack of tolerance for it. I also don’t like that it often takes me a long time to process the needs of people I care about and come up with appropriate responses.

3. What happens to your closest relationships when you’re stressed and go to Arrow Type Six? What happens when you’re healthy and go to Arrow Type Three?

When I’m stressed, my ability to empathize with other people suffers, and I get increasingly drawn into negative thought spirals that center on my own insecurities. It becomes difficult for me to function in relationships because I withdraw from whatever conflict is present, and I completely blame myself for it. I also tend to lose body awareness when I’m stressed, which makes it hard to be physically present. When I’m healthier and moving towards Type Three, I become more motivated and energetic, taking on new projects and seeking new experiences with my loved ones. I’m much more able to focus on the positive things in my life.

4. How does narcotizing or numbing affect your daily life? Do you find yourself checking out on both your inner and outer experiences?

I often use my phone or computer to narcotize when I’m stressed. I’ll get sucked into repetitive games, or obsessively scroll through social media. This also contributes to feelings of disembodiment. I check out of external events much more quickly than my inner experience, but if things get too intense, eventually I start losing my train of thought and even momentarily forget why I am upset.

5. What do you wish other people understood about being a Type Nine?

I wish people understood that our desire to avoid or mitigate conflict doesn’t mean we don’t care. And that just because we can see both sides of an argument doesn’t mean that we’re unwilling to stand up for what we believe in.

6. Do you know what your Wing is? Can you talk about how your Wing shades aspects of being a Nine (for you)?

I’m still learning about wings and how they function. I think I am more of a 9w1 because I do have some perfectionist tendencies and can get preoccupied with doing things “right” or having the correct answer. I’m starting to learn how to lean into my 8w more because it helps me to process feelings of anger (not a fun thing for a Nine) and helps me to stand up for myself and be assertive.

7. What would the phrase, “You can handle being fully yourself and fully present in body, mind, and spirit,” mean to you if you knew it to be deeply true?

To me, that phrase would mean that I am able to stand on my own and fully inhabit my place in the world. It would mean a letting go of insecurity and a feeling of connection to my inner guidance.

8. Are there any spiritual practices you are drawn to as a Type Nine?

I’ve been drawn to various different spiritual practices throughout my life. The ones that have called to me most have been meditation, deep reading/Lectio Divina, and the observance of seasons and cycles, whether that be within the context of a liturgical year or through creating my own set of ceremonies. I also enjoy creative pursuits like writing, playing music, and knitting, and have found them to be spiritually fulfilling.

9. How has learning about your Enneagram Type changed the way you view yourself or others?

Learning about the Enneagram has completely changed the way I relate to others and the way I view myself. I think the biggest change has been recognizing that there are different levels of health and integration and that a person under stress might act very differently from how they act when they’re in a healthy place. This perspective helps me to give much more grace to myself and others. I’m able to focus more on providing what someone might need to get back to a more integrated state.

10. Talk about what the words Anger, Bravery, and Goals mean to you today.

Anger is a mystery to me some days, but today I am trying to see it less like a force of destruction and more as a force for change and justice. Bravery is a quality I have leaned into hard this year, and I’m proud of myself for the brave things I’ve done. As for Goals, I’m living pretty moment-to-moment right now, but I’m hoping soon to take some time and create some long-term goals for myself.

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Bio: Hi, I’m Kelsey! I’m a queer nerdy woman living in Portland, OR. I work for a nonprofit that provides opportunities for kids to take music lessons regardless of their ability to pay for them. I love writing, knitting, playing piano, playing board games, and drinking copious amounts of tea.

Twitter: @kvaughn64

*Cover Photo by Robert Lukeman on Unsplash

What is the function of the Enneagram wings? In brief, the wings serve as an enhancement of the basic type, they bring out different centers or magnify the (body, heart, mind) center already present in the type, and they introduce different variations of the basic type. Let’s look at the two wings for Type Nine.

Type Nine with a One Wing (9w1)

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We are each other’s harvest; we are each other’s business; we are each other’s magnitude and bond.” ― Gwendolyn Brooks

In Integration:

9w1s in health (or integration) are people who combine the desire for peace of a Type Nine with the responsibility and moral obligation of a Type One. They follow the rules and fulfill what is expected of them because they truly want to create a harmonious society — and feel they have a duty to do so. They desire to do good and be good. 9w1s have double body center. 9w1s are generally nice people, like all Nines, and the One wing adds judicious and tactful tendencies. The One wing helps the Nine have a sense of acceptable social behaviors and good conduct. This subtype is much more reserved and orderly than 9w8s. They are less prone to bursts of anger like the other subtype. 9w1s are often spiritually oriented people. They connect to the flow of the universe like the Nine, but the One wing allows them to channel their spiritual experiences into daily practices like yoga, prayer, meditation, the reading of sacred texts, and reflection. The One wing is so helpful to the Nine in this way because spiritual practices help the Nine to restore their inner balance when it’s disrupted. Peace (both inner and outer) is vital to a Nine’s well-being and the One wing creates a drive in a healthy Nine to devote energy to bringing peace into the world. They are adept and patient mediators, social justice initiators, wise sages showing others different paths to the Divine, and generally, they seek to create unity wherever they go. You will experience a 9w1 as a comforting, calm, person who has a firm belief that their efforts towards harmony are important in creating a better world.

In Stress/Disintegration: In stress, 9w1s goes to the low side of both numbers. They are people who desire peace no matter what. Their anger, feelings, and opinions are repressed in order to sustain this peace, and they do their very best to ignore anything that will disrupt inner and outer harmony. They will put up with abusive behavior from others, they will disregard things that are unfair, and they become inert in the face of challenges. Nines in stress check out naturally, but the One wing compounds this desire to disconnect from everything, including themselves. This detachment can extend for many years, as long as 9w1s remain stressed and cope in unhealthy ways. This can lead to many 9w1s experiencing depression. A 9w1 in disintegration will also exhibit some of the perfectionistic tendencies of Type One. They can start to be obsessively organized, stubbornly insisting that things in life be done the right way and put in proper order. A 9w1 won’t get angry, but they will have attitudes of censure and bitterness.

Type Nine with an Eight Wing (9w8)

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“When two brothers are busy fighting, an evil man can easily attack and rob their poor mother. Mankind should always stay united, standing shoulder to shoulder so evil can never cheat and divide them.” ― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

In Integration:

9w8s in health are pleasant, agreeable people who also exude an innate sense of authority. They are also a double body center. 9w8s bring a stable, calm, firm, and solid energy into places and situations. The Eight wing brings an aura of strength to the easygoing Type Nine. Their strength is much more reserved and detached than the aggression and raw power of the pure Type Eight, though. The Eight wing helps the Nine to move through life with more common sense, directness, and a take-charge attitude. 9w8s can be leaders, CEOs of big corporations, or politically inclined. (I often wonder if President Obama is either a 9w8 or 9w1.) They are usually very cool under pressure and don’t resort to despair in the face of crisis. Other people truly like and follow 9w8 leaders because they are powerful and compelling, while also being kindhearted, serene, and pleasant.

In Stress/Disintegration:

In stress, 9w8s take on the low side of Type Nine and the low side of Type Eight. This creates a very strong internal tension because the Nine desires harmony at all costs and the Eight desires to express anger and engage in conflict. Usually, a stressed out 9w8 will be compliant and try to move away from conflict, except for the times when the Eight wing roars and the Nine suddenly explodes. These eruptions of anger serve to try to communicate to people in their lives that a Nine’s boundaries have been crossed. The Eight wing also propels the Nine to step into conflict at the very end in order to diffuse and wrap up a fight in a direct, efficient manner. This allows the 9w8 to then move back to a place of harmony as quickly as possible. 9w8s are not as upset by their anger as 9w1s would be, they don’t feel guilty about it. Their desire is to get back to inner and outer peace; their feeling of normal. One distinguishing feature of the disintegrated 9w8 is their tendency to dissociate from others and their own feelings, all while exacting revenge on people who have wronged them. They are dispassionately vengeful. And like a Type Eight, once you are on their bad side, you are blacklisted forever. They might seem nice and act socially polite, but any kind of relationship with them will be over for good.

Interview with Type Nine: Kelsey Vaughn

Enneagram 9w1 vs 9w8