Enneagram Type Twos are often called the Helpers. They have a desire to fulfill the needs of others; often in order to get their own buried needs met. They can sense emotions with clarity and precision and are in the Heart Triad, meaning they experience the world through the lens of feeling and relationships. They know you very well, but when healthy, also know themselves well, maintaining good boundaries and practicing self-care.
Type Two with a One Wing (2w1)
In Integration:
Type 2w1s are the warm, generous, loving people you’d expect, with a shade of moral obligation and resolve thrown into the mix. Their desire to do good in the world and to meet the needs of others is amplified by the 1w motivation of correctness. Their generosity is often turned toward social justice and they truly wish to change the world for the better through their efforts. “They are often Good Samaritans, willing to take on thankless and unglamorous tasks that others generally avoid.” (The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Riso & Hudson, pg. 130) Type Twos are in the Heart Center Triad, but the 1w brings a measure of the Body Center. This is advantageous to the 2w1 because they have help processing their reality with body energy, more easily recognizing when their feelings threaten to overtake them. The 1w is also empowering, supplying the Type Two with a sense of physical presence and backbone.
In Stress/Disintegration:
In stress, the 2w1 experiences the drive for perfection of Type Ones. They still want to be needed and give, but the 1w makes them think that they know best. Often, 2w1s in stress will begin to impose their “help” onto other people, intruding into their lives in order to tell them the correct thing to do. They can often seem preachy, going on and on about what they perceive to be right — in your life, not theirs — and rub others the wrong way. 2w1s in stress can also struggle with severely judging themselves. Type Twos have trouble recognizing their own feelings and needs, and the 1w makes them further think that personal desire is somehow wrong or selfish. They toil away for others but often resent the fact they are not recognized for their work. In extreme duress, the 2w1 can even begin to neglect their bodies, melding together the body shame of Type Twos and the strive toward physical perfection of Type Ones. This can lead to bodily neglect, eating disorders, or extreme exercise regimens.
Type Two with a Three Wing (2w3)
In Integration:
2w3s are solidly in the Heart Triad, therefore they will be more good-humored and social than 2w1s. They will be more driven by their feelings (often unconscious) and the feelings of others. 2w3s seek security by trying to foster as many relationships as possible and by supporting those they love. Because they are innately more social, they have more socially pleasing manners than 2w1s—they are charismatic, alluring, chatty, versatile, adventurous, and generally pleasant to be around. They often like to be the host or hostess and gather people in their homes or out at parties. They want to offer all their good qualities and advice to others. It makes them feel good to give wholeheartedly of themselves and they do so to advance the experiences and lives of those they care about. They are less caretakers and more the attentive host.
In Stress/Disintegration:
2w3s in stress will find it challenging to see past overwhelming feelings; their entire reality will seem clouded by the feelings of others that they perceive so strongly and their own emotions that are repressed but bubble up from time to time. The fact that they lack a wing in a different Center/Triad makes self-awareness much more difficult. The influence of a Head or Body energy would help pull them out of their conditioned patterns of behavior. 2w3s will have to work extra hard to overcome autopilot. They might have more problems in relationships as they see the huge, self-sacrificing gift of their friendship as “enough”. They are sensitive and easily affronted by any criticisms directed their way because the Type Two has poured themselves out for another and the 3w cares about how they are perceived. Criticism is thus a double offense to their overinflated pride. 2w3s in stress can become arrogant, overbearing, authoritarian and are prone to bursts of anger.
Arrow to Four in Stress: “Black and White” thinking has been my life. I can “see” so clearly what is right and wrong and true and false in other people. In other words, I am quite a judgmental know-it-all, even if well-intentioned.
Recently, I’ve realized to best hear my spiritual voice (the voice of God through the Holy Spirit), I need my body to be working but not my mind. For instance, weeding, gardening, biking, swimming laps — all bodily movement things that free my mind. My body is a slave to my mind, or my mind is freed by my body; something like that! I find if I put my body to work at reforming something or improvement, then my mind is free to process, to dream, and to recalibrate the critical inner voice — and to just be.
Freedom. So. Much. Freedom. I have been trapped for far too long as an unhealthy One. Today, I am able to find gratefulness and an abundance of joy in the littlest things again — being tickled by my kids while my dog tries to lick me, my daughter’s curls, or fresh produce! I’ve started to be spontaneous again, and I know my kids really appreciate that side of me because they always thank me profusely and tell me how much they love me when I’m fun and able to enjoy them and enjoy life. That’s what I want to be able to teach them how to do.
Rachel is a married mother of three kids and a recovering perfectionist who is trying to find joy and God’s hand in everything, everywhere. She loves learning, gardening, farm-to-table cooking, dog kisses, and being an effective steward all of the gifts God has given her. She has a passion for sharing life-tips and resources on being purposeful with faith, family, finances, food, fitness, and (sometimes) fashion. She’s an ex-accountant and finance guru that now stays home and tries to play with her kids more. She dislikes olives, parades, large groups of children, and littering. Follow Rachel on Instagram