Category: Healthy Practices

Enneagram – Health (Integration) Arrows

Posted on by melissakircher

The funny thing about the Enneagram health/aware/integration arrows is that we can’t force the move. It simply happens with a combination of inner work + natural wiring + intention + flow. We never quite figure out the formula. I’m a nerdy Enneagram Type Five, and even I use words like unexplainable and magical to describe the health arrow move!

Integration to your health number (or type) provides you with new energy, new awareness, and expansive options. How do you want to move forward in a different way? What got you here, and how do you feel? What do you see in a new light? What do you sense is right? How must things change? What will enliven and enrich your life?

Use your answers to accept the gifts of your health arrow – they almost always lead to expansion, healing, joy, and a revitalized relationship with yourself!

As you read through these, remember that they are a list of high-side attributes you go to in your health arrow. They are the best of that type. These are all qualities to help you notice when you’re in alignment.

Type 1 – To – Type 7

I find life fun and enjoyable. My mind expands, and I accept new ideas. Pleasure becomes a healthy priority. I embrace spontaneous adventures. My thinking becomes much more gray. I make decisions that resonate and feel good in my mind, body, and heart.

Type 2 – To – Type 4

My inner world is known to me. I take self-important risks and reap the rewards of trying new things. I can say no with confidence. I grant all my emotions equal importance. I learn how to love being with myself. My mind is filled with exciting ideas.

Type 3 – To – Type 6

I know and trust my own voice and authentic opinions. Loyalty takes the place of competition. I bravely communicate and share my heart. I learn to take careful, considered action. I am genuinely emotive, warm, and loving. I work cooperatively with others.

Type 4 – To – Type 1

I know what needs to be done. I find congruence in many areas of my life. I think objectively and with precision. My gut intuition is strong and trustworthy. My emotions and actions become aligned. I create new realities every day.

Type 5 – To – Type 8

My mind finds pockets of quiet. I move into the world with power an ease. I am aware of desire and act on it. My body speaks to me, and I listen to it. I relish life with robust energy. I accomplish goals with great success.

Type 6 – To – Type 9

All is well and will be well. I attract people who support and love me. I trust in the goodness of the universe. My body is on my side. My intuition is strong and leads me well. I relax, let go, and allow life to unfold.

Type 7 – To – Type 5

I focus and get so very much done. I find great delight in the mundane. The moments I inhabit are satisfying. My body is here, singing with life. I accept stillness and all it holds. My mind is my rational ally.

Type 8 – To – Type 2

I see others as worthy equals. My soft heart is shown to a chosen few. I embrace risk as part of being loved. My protection of others is boundaried. I accept my own humanity. My inner child feels safe to play.

Type 9 – To – Type 3

I know I am loved, worthy, and special. My goals become actions that are achieved. I take a stand on vital issues. My wants and needs become known to me. I see myself as someone of importance. My heart guides me, showing me the way.

Enneagram - When Life is Hard...

Enneagram – When Life is Hard…

Posted on by melissakircher

Things to remember when life is hard:

1. Hard times happen to everyone. They are not your fault and the universe isn’t punishing you. You are loved and wanted. Reach out as much as you need to. Being reminded of how lovable and worthy you are is a key way to get through difficulties.

2. Acknowledge that two things can be true at the same time. You might have no idea what to do and know exactly what to do all in the same breath. This confusion and sometimes bone deep exhaustion is normal. Rest, trust, take the next right step and nothing more.

Type 1

When life is hard, I remember that I can ask for support, encouragement, and reminders that being exactly where I am is okay. I am going through a hard time because I’m human; there is nothing bad or wrong with me. I can delegate tasks to others and reconnect with myself. I am worthy and loved and don’t have to do it all right now.

Type 2

When life is hard, I remember this is precisely when it’s good and right to be “selfish.” I can ask for others to help me put myself first. Hard times happen to helpers, too. I’m worth being here, I’m worth showing up for myself, and I’m worth the space to rest and heal. Now is the time to sleep, have fun, do nothing, read, relax, and just be.

Type 3

When life is hard, I remember that I am a someone who needs to verbally process during hard times. I can ask someone to let me vent. I’m allowed to seek external validation; I need to hear I’m doing a good job right now. I can assess what to do and what to let go of to slow down. I am a person, and I have limits. I deserve love.

Type 4

When life is hard, I remember who I am and what I feel is never “not enough” or “too much.” This is precisely the right time to ask for validation, hugs, encouragement, and help from others. In my gut, I know how to process this challenging time and give myself permission to do so freely. This is not my fault; it happens to everyone.

Type 5

When life is hard, I remember it’s normal for me to feel immense anxiety during hard times. I’m allowed the space to worry and try to figure out how to fix things. I can ask for help with daily tasks and for a listening ear. I am not alone; there are people who love me. I am not deficient; this is a lot, and letting go is okay.

Type 6

When life is hard, I remember that hard times are when it’s appropriate for me to reach out to my network. I can ask for time to talk and also to seek opinions. There is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed and needing support. I can do this, but I don’t have to do it by myself. I am so freaking strong, and it’s also okay to break down.

Type 7

When life is hard, I remember this is when I’m totally allowed to vacillate between needing other’s upbeat energy and time alone. I can ask people who know my deeper side for advice. It’s okay for me to feel sadness and anxiety in small chunks and not all at once. I am resilient, soft, badass, tired, lonely, and kind of okay all at once.

Type 8

When life is hard, I remember that hard times are when I can seek out safe, professional support. I can ask for time away to think and help getting out of my head. I don’t have to muscle through this. My emotions are valid and true. I am lovable exactly as I am. Resting isn’t a failure. It’s storing energy to fight the good fight another day.

Type 9

When life is hard, I remember this is the perfect time to ask others to check on me. I need love, time to vent, support, and a lot of space. There is nothing I did to cause this. I might see eight million ways out and not know which one to choose. I can trust myself. I am allowed to wait and see what happens and/or also take cautious action.

Re-Focus [By Enneagram Type]

Re-Focus [By Enneagram Type]

Posted on by melissakircher

“Very occasionally, if you pay really close attention, life doesn’t suck.”
― Joss Whedon

During my time with The Coaching Fellowship, one of the many lessons my coach taught me was, “What you focus your attention on determines what you miss.” Shout out to my coach, the fantastic Janice Reches!

I don’t know about you, but I constantly have to re-orient my focus of attention to have a more broad, truer version of reality in my sights. Just today, I had to remind myself to look for abundance instead of mentally pinpointing all the areas my Type Five ego said were barren and scarce. Shifting my focus immediately changed my perspective and mood! And you know what? There was a white bowl filled to the brim with juicy oranges in front of me. Abundance right under my nose!

Where do you need to re-focus today? Here are some tips by type to help you get started!

Type 1: Ones, you focus your attention on what needs to be improved or fixed in any given situation or relational space. This is exhausting. To avoid burnout, can you try to notice moments where you feel satisfied or light? The experience of both these things will retrain your brain to see the full spectrum of life.

Type 2: Twos, you often leave an event, meeting, group, or hang-out with the question of, “Was I wanted?” Instead, try re-focusing on curiosity about, “Did I enjoy those people? What made me light up during that time? Do I want to continue to be a part of this scene?”

Type 3: Threes, you are often preoccupied with how well you are doing in any given circumstance, how people see you. Instead, try to re-focusing on being present, noticing how your body feels when someone says something or any emotions that well up within. Can you notice your existence?

Type 4: Fours, you tend to be hyper-aware of feelings of superiority and inferiority to others. You swing, dizzyingly, between the two. Could you try to re-focus on all the similarities between yourself and others> How do you see yourself belonging to the world?

Type 5: Fives, you get lost down rabbit-holes of attention-time-sucks like Google to stave off the feeling that the world will swallow you whole. Scarcity drives you. Instead, try to re-focus on abundance, noting any little place or things that give you joy. Mantra, “I’m looking for abundance.”

Type 6: Sixes, you often have scanning sort-of attention, warily assessing if others are trustworthy. Instead, try shifting your focus onto yourself. Where have you proven to yourself that you’re trustworthy? Can you see areas of strength and capability?

Type 7: Sevens, you tend to focus on future-oriented ideas, imaging what could be and missing out on what is. Could you practice feeling grounded in the present by wiggling your toes, breathing deeply, noticing the temperature of the room, and listening to the sounds all around you?

Type 8: Eights, you move out into the world, scanning for where you can exert power and control, using up energy better spent on doing things that truly matter to you. Can you try identifying who else might take over so that you can relax and get down to your own business?

Type 9: Nines, many of you find that focus is lacking, getting caught up in whatever person or situation is right in front of you. However, even a lack of attention is attention. Can you find your focus by creating small moments for yourself each day? Ask, “What do I feel, think, or want?”

Is Enneagram Coaching right for you? Set up a free 15-minute consultation today to find out! I have a few spring openings left!

Cover Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

A Look at Anger and Enneagram Types

Posted on by melissakircher

justin-ng-322116-unsplash

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”
― Maya Angelou

Most of us are taught that if we feel angry, the best course of action is to suppress it. Anger is one emotion on the spectrum of emotions that every healthy human should allow themselves to feel. But we don’t get mad. Instead, we keep our rage hidden, stuff it down, and this leads to a whole slew of unhealthy ways that anger tends to weasel its way out of us. A wise friend once told me that anger shows us where things in life aren’t fair, and I loved her description. Now, when I feel wrathful, I try to figure out what isn’t fair in my life, a relationship, or the world.

Instead of working so damn hard to keep our anger at bay, here are some suggestions — by Type — to physically and safely express our anger.

Type 1 – The simmering rage is there all the time. Things aren’t perfect, and people let you down. You can either moralize your anger away and emotionally explode OR you can punch the hell out of a punching bag and accept your anger needs an outlet.

Type 2 – You give, but you don’t receive as much as you need. People don’t anticipate how to love you best. This creates anger. Running, kickboxing, even yoga might be ways to physically vent how upset you are.

Type 3 – You explode when you fail and then you blame others for exploding, trying to offload the guilt. You need to pre-express anger through boxing or martial arts as a way to access your deeper emotions before they spill onto others.

Type 4 – Your anger comes out pretty often, and it’s super dramatic. You thrive on drama. BUT, authentic anger isn’t drama, it’s admitting things aren’t fair, and you are hurt. A physical practice like running or boxing could help even out and deepen your experience of anger.

Type 5 – You know you’re the original badass, right?! You need proactive anger outlets like martial arts, boxing, or running to angry music or all that withdrawing and passivity will physically explode on someone in an unhealthy way.

Type 6 – Anger for you would be a healthy way to vent some of your fear and feel more empowered. Physically showing anger by screaming in the woods or your car, stomping your feet, or boxing would be ways to get in touch with your inner power.

Type 7 – You breeze over your rage, but then find addictive ways to express it. Swimming, running, and kickboxing are all fast-moving ways that you can access your anger, but process it and not feel trapped by it. Remember, all emotions pass.

Type 8 – You probably already have a gym membership and know all of the ways to physically vent your ever-constant need to spout off. Keep this up, but also introduce self-awareness to your practices. Your anger masks a tender, bleeding heart that you need to feel from time to time.

Type 9 – Sign up for the gym or hire a personal trainer. Get in touch with your body. Once that happens, you’ll begin to feel that things actually bother you sometimes and now you’ll have a safe, healthy space to express your anger.

 

*Photo by Justin Ng on Unsplash