The funny thing about the Enneagram health/aware/integration arrows is that we can’t force the move. It simply happens with a combination of inner work + natural wiring + intention + flow. We never quite figure out the formula. I’m a nerdy Enneagram Type Five, and even I use words like unexplainable and magical to describe the health arrow move!
Integration to your health number (or type) provides you with new energy, new awareness, and expansive options. How do you want to move forward in a different way? What got you here, and how do you feel? What do you see in a new light? What do you sense is right? How must things change? What will enliven and enrich your life?
Use your answers to accept the gifts of your health arrow – they almost always lead to expansion, healing, joy, and a revitalized relationship with yourself!
As you read through these, remember that they are a list of high-side attributes you go to in your health arrow. They are the best of that type. These are all qualities to help you notice when you’re in alignment.
Type 1 – To – Type 7
I find life fun and enjoyable. My mind expands, and I accept new ideas. Pleasure becomes a healthy priority. I embrace spontaneous adventures. My thinking becomes much more gray. I make decisions that resonate and feel good in my mind, body, and heart.
Type 2 – To – Type 4
My inner world is known to me. I take self-important risks and reap the rewards of trying new things. I can say no with confidence. I grant all my emotions equal importance. I learn how to love being with myself. My mind is filled with exciting ideas.
Type 3 – To – Type 6
I know and trust my own voice and authentic opinions. Loyalty takes the place of competition. I bravely communicate and share my heart. I learn to take careful, considered action. I am genuinely emotive, warm, and loving. I work cooperatively with others.
Type 4 – To – Type 1
I know what needs to be done. I find congruence in many areas of my life. I think objectively and with precision. My gut intuition is strong and trustworthy. My emotions and actions become aligned. I create new realities every day.
Type 5 – To – Type 8
My mind finds pockets of quiet. I move into the world with power an ease. I am aware of desire and act on it. My body speaks to me, and I listen to it. I relish life with robust energy. I accomplish goals with great success.
Type 6 – To – Type 9
All is well and will be well. I attract people who support and love me. I trust in the goodness of the universe. My body is on my side. My intuition is strong and leads me well. I relax, let go, and allow life to unfold.
Type 7 – To – Type 5
I focus and get so very much done. I find great delight in the mundane. The moments I inhabit are satisfying. My body is here, singing with life. I accept stillness and all it holds. My mind is my rational ally.
Type 8 – To – Type 2
I see others as worthy equals. My soft heart is shown to a chosen few. I embrace risk as part of being loved. My protection of others is boundaried. I accept my own humanity. My inner child feels safe to play.
Type 9 – To – Type 3
I know I am loved, worthy, and special. My goals become actions that are achieved. I take a stand on vital issues. My wants and needs become known to me. I see myself as someone of importance. My heart guides me, showing me the way.
1. Hard times happen to everyone. They are not your fault and the universe isn’t punishing you. You are loved and wanted. Reach out as much as you need to. Being reminded of how lovable and worthy you are is a key way to get through difficulties.
2. Acknowledge that two things can be true at the same time. You might have no idea what to do and know exactly what to do all in the same breath. This confusion and sometimes bone deep exhaustion is normal. Rest, trust, take the next right step and nothing more.
Type 1
When life is hard, I remember that I can ask for support, encouragement, and reminders that being exactly where I am is okay. I am going through a hard time because I’m human; there is nothing bad or wrong with me. I can delegate tasks to others and reconnect with myself. I am worthy and loved and don’t have to do it all right now.
Type 2
When life is hard, I remember this is precisely when it’s good and right to be “selfish.” I can ask for others to help me put myself first. Hard times happen to helpers, too. I’m worth being here, I’m worth showing up for myself, and I’m worth the space to rest and heal. Now is the time to sleep, have fun, do nothing, read, relax, and just be.
Type 3
When life is hard, I remember that I am a someone who needs to verbally process during hard times. I can ask someone to let me vent. I’m allowed to seek external validation; I need to hear I’m doing a good job right now. I can assess what to do and what to let go of to slow down. I am a person, and I have limits. I deserve love.
Type 4
When life is hard, I remember who I am and what I feel is never “not enough” or “too much.” This is precisely the right time to ask for validation, hugs, encouragement, and help from others. In my gut, I know how to process this challenging time and give myself permission to do so freely. This is not my fault; it happens to everyone.
Type 5
When life is hard, I remember it’s normal for me to feel immense anxiety during hard times. I’m allowed the space to worry and try to figure out how to fix things. I can ask for help with daily tasks and for a listening ear. I am not alone; there are people who love me. I am not deficient; this is a lot, and letting go is okay.
Type 6
When life is hard, I remember that hard times are when it’s appropriate for me to reach out to my network. I can ask for time to talk and also to seek opinions. There is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed and needing support. I can do this, but I don’t have to do it by myself. I am so freaking strong, and it’s also okay to break down.
Type 7
When life is hard, I remember this is when I’m totally allowed to vacillate between needing other’s upbeat energy and time alone. I can ask people who know my deeper side for advice. It’s okay for me to feel sadness and anxiety in small chunks and not all at once. I am resilient, soft, badass, tired, lonely, and kind of okay all at once.
Type 8
When life is hard, I remember that hard times are when I can seek out safe, professional support. I can ask for time away to think and help getting out of my head. I don’t have to muscle through this. My emotions are valid and true. I am lovable exactly as I am. Resting isn’t a failure. It’s storing energy to fight the good fight another day.
Type 9
When life is hard, I remember this is the perfect time to ask others to check on me. I need love, time to vent, support, and a lot of space. There is nothing I did to cause this. I might see eight million ways out and not know which one to choose. I can trust myself. I am allowed to wait and see what happens and/or also take cautious action.
Good morning Enneagram Paths friends! I hope you are safe and well. I’m sending out love, presence, and light to all of you today.
We have two amazing people, and Type Sixes, in the house! Ruth Nathaniel and Julianne Gibson have graciously allowed me to interview them and ask what it’s like to be a Type Six. Their answers put me in the mind, body, and emotions of a Six and are so helpful. It’s wonderful to hear from all different kinds people about how the Enneagram is impacting their lives. Thank you both for sharing your thoughts and experiences!
Ruth Nathaniel
1. What has it been like being a Type Six during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?
As a Type Six, this season of life has been tough, but pulled out the greatest shades of courage I could muster. I practiced radical acceptance as we postponed our wedding not once but twice (fingers crossed for 2022!), trekked through the nerve-wracking green card process and its limitations (including not working for a whole year), as well as trusting the scientific community to pull through with a viable vaccine to help curb the pandemic since so many of my loved ones are immunocompromised and abroad. Deep down I knew I had all of the tools to ground myself when I felt anxious, depressed, or lonely. The real challenge was to actually do it! Some of these tools were creating art, staying physically active, scheduling FaceTime calls with my friends in Canada, and giving myself permission to simply rest when I needed to.
2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Six?
Over the last few years, especially since learning more about my type and growing towards health, I’ve wrestled with my silence and lack of boundaries in relationships with authority figures. There was a time when I would’ve completely crumbled at the thought of “disrupting” the flow of these relationships or calling out abusive behavior, even when I was being mistreated. However, I’ve been empowered by my ability to look within for assurance in my decision making and judgement, and not to others. As a Six I have a strong voice and now use it to speak truth to power. Furthermore, when you’ve had traumatic experiences with important figures in your life, it can negatively affect how you view other people too. As a Type Six, I need not resort to pessimism and suspicion, but can actually trust the people around me since I possess an abundance of good faith AND know there is an abundance of good humans to call my friends.
3. Tell us about fear or doubt. How do you engage with fear/doubt and calm it so that you feel internal peace and trust in yourself?
Fear and doubt are familiar voices in my head, as such I’ve focused less on silencing them and more on speaking to them in the moments they show up. My fear and doubts can be justified (through some train of logic) almost all the time but realistically they have the most power when I keep them inside and let them cast larger than life shadows in my mind. I’ve found that naming my fear or doubt aloud strips them of some of their power and ambiguity, and makes space for alternative perspectives to be introduced. I like to remind myself of decisions I’ve made that yielded less than ideal outcomes, and how all of those choices still led me to a life I love and people I adore.
4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Three to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Sixes about choosing some of the high-side traits of Three to be of service to you in stress?
One of the most impactful perspectives about the stress arrow is that it is merely a weak coping mechanism to get us through a difficult time. The inclination to be overly competitive or achievement based is a feature of my personality in stress and does not reflect my personhood or essence. As a child, affirmation was only given in response to achievement. I performed to be loved. It was such a literal conditioning that my parents’ house is full of displays of ribbons and trophies from my youth. As such, it’s easy to be highly irritated by Type Threes when you associate some of their traits with your own trauma and stress, so I’d encourage Type Sixes to do life with a Type Three. This friendship will not only teach you how to be empathetic and open-minded when they are not at their best, but also foster grace for yourself when you exhibit similar features from time to time or lean on your old personality crutches. I have a few healthy Type Threes in my inner circle who illuminate the positive side of those much needed traits, and help me see that self-assuredness and decisive action can be harnessed for good and not to simply position myself when I am insecure or seeking love.
5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
I am dominantly a self-preservation subtype, surely gleaning from the other subtypes from time to time. This instinct is most present in my approach to feeling and communicating my anger. As a child, I felt that if someone was angry then their love was conditional, and receiving their love was based on how little I could anger them. As an adult, I had to reckon with that conditioning and examine why safely communicating anger is actually important and can be a loving thing to do. I’ve learned that my anger signals when something hits close to the heart and acknowledging my own defensiveness is helpful to both me and the people I communicate it to. Anger does not make me less lovable, it clarifies my values and can actually increase the stability and safety in relationships when used appropriately. At my best, this looks like communicating when I am upset in a clear, confident manner without bottling things up or lashing out.
6. From the perspective of a Type Six, how can we best support each other during these difficult times?
A deep breath can change everything. When you are feeling overwhelmed by something you’ve read, heard, or witnessed, take a moment to ground yourself in the present. Sometimes all it takes is closing your eyes and taking a few conscious breaths. Other times, when tensions are high, and it’s easiest to lash out (especially behind a computer screen), consider writing down how you feel in a notebook and decide if it’s actually how you want to represent yourself and your perspective online before publishing it. A little grace goes a long way, and while hardship exists everywhere at all times, this past year and a half has perhaps opened our eyes to the sheer vulnerability and insecurity so many people experience. When we are tempted to compare suffering, I would encourage us all to approach our interactions from a place of abundance. Compassion, kindness, and a listening ear cost us very little and go so far.
Ruth Nathaniel is a licensed psychotherapist who sees clients in Chicago and Denver. She is Tamil-Canadian and the daughter of immigrants. You can usually find her laughing at niche memes and tweets, painting, trying a new recipe, or working up a sweat. You can read more about Ruth’s approach to therapy at https://optimumjoy.com/ruth-nathaniel/ and follow her on Twitter at @ruthsnathaniel
1. What has it been like being a Type Six during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?
It was difficult to be a scientist during this time. I work in the wilderness, and I could not access the wilderness – my research was literally shut down. It was hard having the thing I’ve dedicated my life to taken from me. It was also hard not being able to collaborate with my colleagues in person anymore. It really took the joy out of science for me for quite a while. I coped largely by taking it easier on myself, taking the lesser grade, accepting that my field research would have less data and a shorter time frame. I think I had a harder time being separated from colleagues than I did my friends, but my best friend is a colleague so I’m sure that’s why. I Zoomed with her quite often, and that helped a lot. She and I really supported each other in our scientific expenditures during that period.
In terms of non-scientific matters, I can’t say that I coped. I had family issues, relationship issues, body issues, everything. I think at the time I just kept telling myself to take it day by day and that everything would be okay. I took every problem one problem at a time and tried to communicate as best as I could with my partner. Also, I had weekly virtual therapy with my therapist, and she helped me feel hope.
2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Six?
I like how brave I am. I genuinely believe I am more courageous than most because I must face legitimate fears on a more consistent basis. As a result of this, I appreciate that I know how I will handle fear and doubt when in bad situations. Unfortunately, some awful things have happened and my significant other really did not cope well, he shut down emotionally. I took control in that situation and stepped up to the plate. I like that I know that if I am out conducting research with a group and we get lost in the wilderness, I know that regardless of how scared I am, I will put it aside in the moment. I would say as an extension of this that I like how quickly I can imagine all of the possibilities as it is really a wonderful trait for my career as well as for everyday life.
3. Tell us about fear or doubt. How do you engage with fear/doubt and calm it so that you feel internal peace and trust in yourself?
It’s funny because I was pretty unaware of my issues with fear prior to finding out about my type three years ago. I’d been in weekly therapy for several years prior to that and I’ve had anxiety for as long as I could remember. However, I always viewed myself as a brave person – which I am, but I had not identified that many of the issues I dealt with were fear-based. Now that I recognize that, I have developed some coping skills and generally I focus on mindfulness. Primarily, I find that doing helps the most. I can really convince myself that I am not capable of things when I think, and I can support it with many experiences and feelings. However, often, when I go out and do that thing, I am completely fine. One example of this is scuba diving. I was so terrified the entire lead up to my first time scuba diving, but when I finally did it, I was fine. Additionally, I think that the more that I push myself to simply take the jump and do things, whether it’s an activity or making a choice, I build more trust in myself and create more memories of myself being successful. Sometimes I can’t go right out and do something though – such as with the Europe trip that my best friend and I are planning. I have so many fears – what if we fight and are never friends again? What if I can’t sleep in the hostels considering my bad sleep issues? What if someone steals from us? What if we get hurt? I cope with these fears by acknowledging that they are possible, and doing my best to prepare for them, but that I can’t not do things based upon my fear. I think in truth that is my greatest fear – to not do all of the things I have dreamed of doing my entire life out of fear. One last note I will mention on the topic of fear is that I’ve learned the worst time for fear for me is at night. I think this is the worst time for many people but for me, it is a very fear-based time. As a result, I practice a lot of thought-stopping prior to falling asleep and I generally refuse to allow myself to think about these things, once I notice consciously that I’m thinking about it because it is unproductive.
4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Three to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Sixes about choosing some of the high-side traits of Three to be of service to you in stress?
Ha, so I’m a scientist and I’m not going to lie – I love my three disintegration. I will let myself completely fall apart trying to get an A or set up the perfect research study (or etc.) before I will allow myself to accept being unsuccessful. Also, I’m wonderful at being a chameleon when networking with other scientists and I know how to present myself to them in the way they want. All I can say to other sixes is that if you are going to use your stress arrow, do it for something that is good for you in the grand scheme. I am okay using that stress arrow for my career because my career is the thing that I want the most in life.
5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
I am a sexual subtype and I feel that it’s obvious when you learn what a sexual Six. I cope with my fear by trying to be the smartest, strongest, and prettiest in the room. It shows the most when I’m stressed, and it can be extremely toxic. I love weightlifting and athletics, I’ve played sports all my life, but as a woman who grew up in the digital age, I have body issues. I’m also in a healthy relationship so I have some extra love pounds. As a result, I notice that I suddenly become extremely hateful of my body when I am stressed. Similarly, when it comes time to find a new research position or join a new lab, I often become far more stressed about being the smartest than I typically am. Overall, I think my sexual subtype coupled with three disintegration makes for a nasty breed of perfectionism that I spend a lot of time in therapy coping with.
6. From the perspective of a Type Six, how can we best support each other during these difficult times?
For me, it’s listening. I don’t need you to really tell me advice – I’ve already thought of every possibility before I ever came to you. However, sometimes, I don’t have the strength to convince myself that my doubt is just doubt. As a result, having you listen and confirm what I am thinking can be helpful in times where I am too weak to do the self-work to do that for myself. Additionally, I think that more gentle criticisms can be beneficial in hard times.
Julianne Gibson is a scientist who studies wildlife ecology and conservation. I specialize, or rather am trying to specialize, in spatial ecology so I look at ecosystems on a large scale to look for patterns and processes, and I do a lot of coding and mapping to support this work, as well as your general wildlife scientist fieldwork. I am 23 years old so I am still very early into my career, and I would like to get a PhD so that I can be a professor one day. I have been in a long-distance relationship for three years with a nerdy yet extremely adventurous chemist. I am proudly bisexual, though I have not always been so proud in the past. I live in Florida, but I am from Texas. In my free time, I love all the hobbies! Cooking and baking, crafting, games, kayaking, hiking, television, consuming good food and drinks, all the things! I have one dog, a small black lab mutt, who is my world. On the internet, you can find me as @radredecology on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Enneagram Paths! Today, we have interviews with Lindsay O’Connor and Becca Briggs who are going to share their experiences as Enneagram Type Sixes.
Let’s take a quick look at the description of a Type Six by Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe, whose book, Whole Identity, outlines a brain-based take on the Enneagram. Click on the book title to check out his entire site and grab a copy of this groundbreaking Enneagram theory for yourself.
Dr. Lubbe uses the term ‘Loyalty’ to summarize Type Sixes. Of Sixes, he says, “The innate human capacity reflected in 6 nature is the energy of loyalty. What 6 nature seeks and is motivated by is guarantees. [Their] primary style of engagement is thought. Positive limbic attachments reinforce a sense of being in concrete and promised. Negative limbic attachments are triggered fastest by unpredictability or insecurity. When overwhelmed, fatigue expresses as anxiety. The primary and practical application for 6 nature is to breathe and practice silence. The healthy 6 nature in each of us is the most gifted at modeling our human capacity for courage.” (Whole Identity, Dr. Jerome D. Lubbe, pg. 59)
Thank you, Lindsay and Becca, for being here today and sharing with us what it means for you to live life as Six!
Lindsay O’Connor
1. What has it been like being a Type Six during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?
In some ways, I think being a Six has made the pandemic more bearable because I’m used to worrying and planning for the worst-case scenario. Part of me has felt like, at least for the first few months when everything was shut down, the rest of the world was finally catching up to the anxiety, planning, and concern for safety that I always carry. I often feel invalidated in my anxiety, so in an odd way, having the whole world prioritize safety was validating. The more control I felt I had over the situation, the more settled and safe I felt, so when my husband, children, and I were all able to be at home, I felt reasonably safe. However, I am an introvert and have a pretty sizable 5 wing, so one of the greatest challenges during the pandemic has been the lack of alone time. I’ve had difficulty finding space to decompress and feel my own feelings without worrying about how they are impacting family members.
One of my greatest needs is for certainty, which has been very difficult during this odd in-between time when everything keeps changing. Because I cope with anxiety through planning, I’ve struggled with not being able to plan very far in advance as so many things have been subject to change in this phase of the pandemic. I’ve had to learn to hold things loosely and to create my own routines (for myself and for our children) in order to feel some sense of security and control. Structure helps settle my anxiety because it allows me a small degree of predictability when so many things are out of my control.
As a rule-follower who looks to authority figures to offer a sense of guidance and safety, I’ve struggled with the lack of unity and consistent messaging from those in authority (in the government, healthcare, etc.). Deep down, I believe that rules for the common good keep us safe, so it has been frustrating to see everyone disagreeing about the best ways to protect ourselves and others during the pandemic.
2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Six?
My favorite thing about being a Type Six is our concern for and commitment to the common good. I generally want, can envision, and am committed to working toward whatever is most beneficial for everyone, including and especially people whose perspectives have often been ignored, dismissed, or invalidated. I believe in the importance of working toward a group consensus and everyone having agency to be involved in the decisions that affect them.
3. Tell us about fear or doubt. How do you engage with fear/doubt and calm it so that you feel internal peace and trust in yourself?
The first and most basic step for me in engaging and calming fear and doubt has been increased awareness. Enneagram work has taught me to practice non-judgmental self-observation. In the past, I had attached a lot of shame to my anxiety (in general but especially pertaining to postpartum depression and anxiety disorder), so for several years, I’ve been working on becoming more shame-resilient and developing self-compassion. This has helped me to have healthier self-talk. When I recognize fear creeping in, I try to talk myself through it with kindness. When I start second-guessing a decision I made, I remind myself of all the things I did to make the best decision I could. I’m working on really believing that making a decision and then changing my mind doesn’t mean it was a bad decision or that I should not have trusted myself; it simply means that at any given moment, I am making the best decision I can with the information that is available to me.
I use some regular practices and routines to lower my baseline of anxiety as well as tools and mantras that I use in the moment when anxiety is ramped up. Therapy, spiritual direction, Enneagram work, and contemplative practices have helped immensely over time as sort of preventative measures or “maintenance.” Contemplative prayer has been especially beneficial in quieting my mind and getting in touch with my inner knowing, which acts as an anchor I can return to when I get caught up in the stress of daily life. Being outside and moving my body (usually with walks or yoga) helps me integrate my body, mind, and heart. As a head/thinking type, I’m working on reconnecting with my body as a way to get in touch with my real feelings.
I love to write and have found that it allows me to process what I’m thinking. I try to notice when I’m overly concerned with checking in with others for validation instead of trusting my own inner knowing. When I’m feeling especially anxious, I often turn to my body and try to discover what it needs (water, movement, rest, etc.). Viewing my anxiety as something that I carry and can befriend instead of something I need to get rid of has allowed me to see myself as a whole person and not to over-identify with it. When I’m struggling, a mantra that I use is, “You won’t feel this way forever.” Uncomfortable feelings are like waves, and it helps to remember that if I ride them out, they will pass.
4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Three to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Sixes about choosing some of the high-side traits of Three to be of service to you in stress?
The energy I tap into from my stress move to Three is very helpful when I’m feeling paralyzed by fear (on the low/unhealthy side of 6). When the move happens, I often notice that I’m able to set the fear aside and focus on taking the next step, and then the next, in order to keep moving and accomplishing. I get a burst of energy with this move and accomplish a lot. It also increases my confidence, which often shows up when I am teaching or leading a group in some capacity. Those are some of the gifts of the move to Three. However, we (Sixes) need to be aware of when we are too dismissive of others’ feelings in this space, prioritizing tasks over people/relationships, and we need to make time to circle back to our own feelings after we have set them down for a while.
5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
I identify the most with the self-preservation subtype. I’ve heard it described as the “warm” subtype (compared to social, which is cool, and sexual, which is hot). For Sixes, this means we are family-oriented, warm, and disarming. All Sixes deal with anxiety and a need for safety, and my subtype means that often the method I use to feel safe is to be warm and disarming towards other people. I think this (subconsciously) is a way that I try to endear myself to others in order to build a strong support system. My disarming behaviors look like avoidance of conflict, being (sometimes overly) accommodating of others, and moving towards others to fulfill their needs.
My subtype also means that most of my anxiety is around health and safety for myself and the people for whom I am responsible. All Sixes are concerned with being responsible and fulfilling duty, and as a self-preserving type, this is focused on practical, daily responsibilities involved in keeping my family and myself healthy and safe. I’m (sometimes overly) focused and intentional with practical physical needs like meal planning, keeping up with doctor appointments, paying bills, etc.
6. From the perspective of a Type Six, how can we best support each other during these difficult times?
I believe that we can love and support others best when we feel healthy, whole, and loved ourselves. As I have worked on developing deeper self-compassion, I’ve noticed that I am more resilient and secure in my identity so I am in a healthier place to be present to the suffering of others. We can support one another by checking in, especially with people who might easily fall through the cracks, and listening and being present to people’s pain without trying to fix it. We can learn to recognize and own the privileges from which we have benefitted and make intentional efforts to listen to and follow the lead of those who have been marginalized in various parts of their identities. As we listen and develop relationships with people who have had different life experiences than we have, we can begin to see concrete ways to stand in solidarity with people who are suffering. For me as a Six, the support I often need and therefore the support I usually give involves listening to and validating people’s experiences without judging them. When we validate each other’s struggles, we can then find common ground where we can connect and work together to make the world a more just and compassionate place.
Lindsay O’Connor has been working with the Enneagram for about five years and is on staff part-time at Life in the Trinity Ministry, which was founded by Enneagram Teacher Suzanne Stabile and Reverend Joseph Stabile. Her favorite job is being mama to her two daughters. She is a writer, reader, former teacher, and most recently, a seminary student. Lindsay is passionate about cultivating spaces and conversations for healing, reconciliation, and flourishing in relationship with God, others, and self. She can usually be found with her nose in a book.
1. What has it been like being a Type Six during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?
I will admit, the beginning months of Covid were TERRIFYING for me. I couldn’t even go to the grocery store without having a panic attack and felt like I needed to take every precaution necessary. I wouldn’t say it’s been an easy time, but once I quit focusing on the uncertainty and lack of control of everything happening around me, the change of pace and increase in introspection has been extremely beneficial. For years I was in a go-go-go mode, working constantly and extremely stressed on a daily basis. Being able to slow down and figure out what I TRULY want has given me the space and resources to live a simpler, more intuitively guided life instead of reacting to everything around me. I have coped by spending lots of time in nature, learning and starting my own business, and strengthening the relationships with the people closest to me. Having the mental/emotional support of my boyfriend, friends, and mom has honestly made the world of difference in how my quarantine experience played out.
2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Six?
Two things stand out the most. The first, although somewhat stereotypical, is the amount of loyalty given. Although at times it’s maybe caused more harm than good, I do take pride in my level of commitment. It’s hard to find people who truly put their dedication into relationships, jobs, projects, experiences, etc. and I would rather put my full heart and soul in than be half-in and half-out. Secondly, I like being such a deep thinker. As long as I’m not TOO caught up in my head, I actually do enjoy seeing many perspectives, putting puzzle pieces together, finding solutions, and the mental planning and organizing that occurs. I feel like I notice things others don’t, making this a valuable and appreciative skill.
3. Tell us about fear or doubt. How do you engage with fear/doubt and calm it so that you feel internal peace and trust in yourself?
Fear and Doubt feel like the Angel/Devil figures that sit on my shoulders, giving advice and guidance, except both of them can cause a chaotic mental spiral if I’m not careful. This has been a main area of growth for me in my personal development, and I’d be lying if I said they still don’t present themselves to me on a daily basis. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to find the balance in embracing them for what they are, instead of trying to repress or ignore them, yet not allowing them to control me or my life. Ultimately both fear and doubt are there to protect me, so I honor them as such, but know that just because they’re trying to help doesn’t mean that I NEED their help. They’re merely friends trying to give me suggestions for what to do. I take it into account, but at the end of the day, I make my OWN decision. A life hindered by fear and doubt isn’t a life lived at all, and more often than not pushing past our fears and doubts leads to the most AMAZING experiences that make it all worth it.
4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Three to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Sixes about choosing some of the high-side traits of Three to be of service to you in stress?
This is something I’ve been utilizing recently. I used to ONLY use it as a way to keep myself busy and distract myself from my worries and thoughts. But I’ve found that using it in an intentional and helpful way can actually be extremely beneficial. I either focus on projects that I can easily complete, especially if they’re collaborative or in a way that helps others, or do some strategic planning for myself; personal/professional goal planning, task management, scheduling, etc. – something to get me out of my head and into healthy productive action. The biggest tip I can give to other Six types is to make sure that the actions you take are intentional. Don’t just work to work. Don’t overload yourself just to prove something. Don’t get competitive to test yourself or others. It’s ultimately like a drug, that you never feel better after once you’ve “sobered up”, and trust me I spent YEARS chasing the “high” of overexerting myself. Instead, take healthy actions. Stay “busy” in ways that matter instead of distract. “Compete” with yourself by reaching goals for what you want. You don’t have to prove anything to yourself or anyone else, it feels so much better to stay focused on and true to you and your big-picture vision.
5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
My instinct is Self-Preservation, and it shows up in a variety of ways. Firstly, I look to an authority figure in my life. I like knowing I have someone there, helping support and protect me, and letting me know if they see any red flags in any decisions I consider risky. Although I’m currently working on not relying on outside validation as much, it’s nice to have it as a tool to ease my doubts. I’m also someone who prioritizes my physical/mental wellbeing. For example, in the past, I wasn’t able to date or pursue relationships until I had my work/financial/health/living situations figured out, because those took up most (if not all) of my mental capacity. In spending time with friends, if I don’t feel safe/comfortable (physically or emotionally), become too hungry or tired, or get too socially drained (as an introvert) I either won’t go or will leave immediately if I’m already there, and if I’m stressed or overwhelmed, I tend to go off the radar until I feel in a good-enough state to talk to people again. None of this is meant to be rude or uncaring to others, it’s simply a survival thing. Lastly, it’s also given me the unfortunate “worst-case-scenario” thought process. Although I don’t always express it, in my head I’m usually ALWAYS playing out scenarios – especially the worst or craziest ones – down to the last detail. I’m always prepared for the worst, that way if ever it does happen I’ll be prepared to do anything and everything I can to get through it – both for myself and anyone else involved. Because of this though, I have a tendency to be spaced out in my head for a long time if I don’t have something actively taking my attention
6. From the perspective of a Type Six, how can we best support each other during these difficult times?
I believe the best support right now is through community and compassion. There is an amount of personal responsibility that needs to be taken right now, but instead of focusing only on ourselves, I think people should look at the entirety of how their actions will impact others. We are all connected whether or not we want to admit it, and all of our actions have consequences, so being a contribution to the solution and taking any helpful steps will go far. The only way we can get through this without inflicting more chaos and damage is through having empathy and understanding for each other and taking actions to better ourselves and our world instead of focusing on things through a personal funnel of what we WANT to see.
Becca Briggs is a certified life coach and freelance artist, specializing in helping other intuitive creatives reconnect with their passions and purposes through personal development, organizational/strategic planning, and energetic/mindset work. She is dedicated to helping people develop deeper understandings of themselves using tools like the Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, and NLP so they can live their best, most confident, creative, and authentic lives.
Hello Enneagram Paths friends! Today, something fun and totally new for me, typing characters from a TV show. Full disclosure, it took much cajoling by my husband and a podcast by Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach to convince me to try Ted Lasso. Episode one made me want to to peel all my skin off; it was that uncomfortable. But, by episode two, I was in love with sports and every single character.
Usually, I steer clear of typing fictional characters or public figures because one can only guess and never truly know. Only Jason Sudeikis and the others writers will ever be able to definitely say if a type is correct or not. However, this show is so masterfully crafted I had to give it a go!
Here are my Ted Lasso type guesses so far. I’d expect disagreement, and that’s okay! Please feel free to leave your take in the comments, and let’s have some fun with this 🙂
Roy Kent: 8
Stress move to 5 shows up in taciturn, nihilistic withdrawal that affects his energy. Average 8 would be earlier in his career when he was a force of nature. Health move to 2 shows up as he protects the underdogs, reveals vulnerability, and has a huge heart.
Keeley Jones: 9
Average 9 is her warmth, ability to get along with everyone, and create team unity with true understanding. Stress is 6 anxiety smoking and freaking out about her life choices. Health 3 is when she breaks up with Jamie, owns what she needs with Roy, and crushes her job.
Ted Lasso: 7
Average 7 has him optimistic to the point of weird, yet likable even with his manic energy. He’s endearing. Stress 1 energy shows up when winning matters or his pain threatens to come out of hiding. I think we’ll see healthy 5 emerge through therapy and as he embraces the full spectrum of his emotions.
“Nate” Shelley: 6
Average phobic 6 is being wary, skittish, and prepared for the worst to happen to him. Health 9 shows up when he relaxes into good things showing up in his life. Traumatic parents quickly turn this energy into stress 3 where it’s all about ego and dominating.
Rebecca Welten: 3
Average 3 has her fixated on her looks, public image, and hidden revenge. Stress to 9 shows when she eats her feelings, can’t stand up to mum, and lets her ex walk all over her. Health 6 is embracing team unity, letting others love her, and working for the greater good.
Coach Beard: 5
Average 5 is brilliant, but behind the scenes. Keeps his personality hidden. Offbeat loner who maintains his life in secluded sections. Health 8 is throwing Jamie’s dad out of the locker room like a true leader-protector. Stress 7 is beginning to show with drinking and toxic relationship with Jane.
Dani Rojas: 7
I mean, do I have to explain this one? (wink) He’s happiness on eight million cups of coffee. I think healthy 5 energy shows up in his ability to hone in and focus on a singular thing: soccer. I also think his stress move to 1 shows up in soccer as well; he’s obsessed with it and pursues it to perfection. I’m looking forward to learning more about Dani’s story as season two unfolds.
Jamie Tartt: 3
Average 3 is his whole Jame Tartt persona that hides a wounded son heart seeking approval. Stress 9 energy lets his team down and trade happen without a fight. He gives in to a “whatever happens happens” mentality. Health 6 shows as he realizes he can shine bright AND also help his team win. He becomes loyal and truly magnetic.
Higgins: 2 or 6
I can’t tell yet! He’s loyal yet nervous like a 6, but helpful and longs to be needed like a 2. Both types enjoy getting the recognition they justly deserve, and we see this with Higgins. His motivation is a heart-centered love of his family and I see self-preservation in doing what it takes to keep his job.
I hope you enjoyed these Ted Lasso Enneagram type guesses. Share some of your own! I’m still watching Sam, Dr. Fieldstone, Isaac, and Trent Crimm (maybe he’s a 1?). I adore this show and am so glad for some awesome TV storylines these days!
Happy Tuesday Enneagram Paths friends! Today, I’m bringing you the next installment of my Enneagram Art Series, melding two of my passions: art and the Enneagram.
This Type Five artwork is fifth in a series of nine illustrated paintings that visually imagine the essence and integration experience of each Enneagram Type. Here on the blog, I want to give you both the art and the creation intention behind each piece. Here is a brief, succinct peek into my mind as I painted and inked each piece. The rest of the feeling, resonating, and interpreting is up to you!
Type 5: In this piece, the yellowish-green paint represents both a “cloud” of information and the connection to universal knowing that Fives access in Essence. This cloud aspect is echoed in the lines underneath the eye. The eye is part of the body and harkens to how Fives can observe all with embodied energy in integration. The eyelashes include arrows that point up and down to signify how, in health, Fives can live rich inner and outer lives. The “V” at the top of the illustrated painting shows how the True Self of Fives moves powerfully in and out of the world according to the combined wisdom of their bodies, hearts, and minds. The contract between the defined geometric shapes and the free, messy watercolor paint represents how Fives can simultaneously understand facts and be in tune with mysterious unknowing.
I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to leave me feedback on my @enneagrampaths Twitter and Instagram. All nine illustrated paintings will be shared on social media.
Happy Wednesday Enneagram Paths friends! Today, I’m bringing you the next installment of my Enneagram Art Series, melding two of my passions: art and the Enneagram.
This Type Four artwork is fourth in a series of nine illustrated paintings that visually imagine the essence and integration experience of each Enneagram Type. Here on the blog, I want to give you both the art and the creation intention behind each piece. Here is a brief, succinct peek into my mind as I painted and inked each piece. The rest of the feeling, resonating, and interpreting is up to you!
Type 4: With this piece, I wanted to create a landscape infused with drama. I went for rich colors, and the energetic movement found in nature. The spectrum from light to dark is signified by the sun to the deep sea, honoring Type Fours’ full, vibrant emotionality. There are calmer waters and a flowing current underneath the tumultuous waves to show how the True Self of Fours is steady and true. The sunset is the way Fours illuminate the beauty in the world for the rest of us. And the serene stillness of the ocean in the back of the waves illustrates the embodied, authentic Essence of Fours found in integration.
I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to leave me feedback on my @enneagrampaths Twitter and Instagram. All nine illustrated paintings will be shared on social media.
Hello Enneagram Paths friends! Today, I’m bringing you the third installment of my Enneagram Art Series, melding two of my passions: art and the Enneagram.
This Type Three artwork is the third in a series of nine illustrated paintings that visually imagine the essence and integration experience of each Enneagram Type. Here on the blog, I want to give you both the art and the creation intention behind each piece. But don’t worry, I dislike long artsy-fartsy art descriptions as much as the next person. So instead, I aim to provide a brief, succinct peek into my mind as I painted each piece. The rest of the feeling, resonating, and interpreting is up to you!
Type 3: This illustrated painting began with the idea of a Whole Self or True Self that Threes lose touch with as they mask up. The geometric shapes represent the many identities that Threes take on to please others. I imagined these identities as facets of a gem broken apart. The circle in the middle of the painting is meant to be both the untouched, authentic core that resides with a Three’s heart and a protection around their True Selves. Inside this ring lies a star compass. The heart of the integrated Three shines bright and brings centered energy that does not fail. They move with real confidence and become faithful guides for both themselves and others.
I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to leave me feedback on my @enneagrampaths Twitter and Instagram. All nine illustrated paintings will be shared on social media.
“Very occasionally, if you pay really close attention, life doesn’t suck.” ― Joss Whedon
During my time with The Coaching Fellowship, one of the many lessons my coach taught me was, “What you focus your attention on determines what you miss.” Shout out to my coach, the fantastic Janice Reches!
I don’t know about you, but Iconstantly have to re-orient my focus of attention to have a more broad, truer version of reality in my sights. Just today, I had to remind myself to look for abundance instead of mentally pinpointing all the areas my Type Five ego said were barren and scarce. Shifting my focus immediately changed my perspective and mood! And you know what? There was a white bowl filled to the brim with juicy oranges in front of me. Abundance right under my nose!
Where do you need to re-focus today? Here are some tips by type to help you get started!
Type 1: Ones, you focus your attention on what needs to be improved or fixed in any given situation or relational space. This is exhausting. To avoid burnout, can you try to notice moments where you feel satisfied or light? The experience of both these things will retrain your brain to see the full spectrum of life.
Type 2: Twos, you often leave an event, meeting, group, or hang-out with the question of, “Was I wanted?” Instead, try re-focusing on curiosity about, “Did I enjoy those people? What made me light up during that time? Do I want to continue to be a part of this scene?”
Type 3: Threes, you are often preoccupied with how well you are doing in any given circumstance, how people see you. Instead, try to re-focusing on being present, noticing how your body feels when someone says something or any emotions that well up within. Can you notice your existence?
Type 4: Fours, you tend to be hyper-aware of feelings of superiority and inferiority to others. You swing, dizzyingly, between the two. Could you try to re-focus on all the similarities between yourself and others> How do you see yourself belonging to the world?
Type 5: Fives, you get lost down rabbit-holes of attention-time-sucks like Google to stave off the feeling that the world will swallow you whole. Scarcity drives you. Instead, try to re-focus on abundance, noting any little place or things that give you joy. Mantra, “I’m looking for abundance.”
Type 6: Sixes, you often have scanning sort-of attention, warily assessing if others are trustworthy. Instead, try shifting your focus onto yourself. Where have you proven to yourself that you’re trustworthy? Can you see areas of strength and capability?
Type 7: Sevens, you tend to focus on future-oriented ideas, imaging what could be and missing out on what is. Could you practice feeling grounded in the present by wiggling your toes, breathing deeply, noticing the temperature of the room, and listening to the sounds all around you?
Type 8: Eights, you move out into the world, scanning for where you can exert power and control, using up energy better spent on doing things that truly matter to you. Can you try identifying who else might take over so that you can relax and get down to your own business?
Type 9: Nines, many of you find that focus is lacking, getting caught up in whatever person or situation is right in front of you. However, even a lack of attention is attention. Can you find your focus by creating small moments for yourself each day? Ask, “What do I feel, think, or want?”
Is Enneagram Coaching right for you? Set up a free 15-minute consultationtoday to find out! I have a few spring openings left!
Hello Enneagram Paths friends! Glad to have you this Monday to learn more about what it means to lead with Type Two! Here on Enneagram Paths, I like to ask the same questions of different people within a type; I find it highlights every person’s nuance and complexity. It’s similar to the Narrative Enneagram Tradition, where you learn type through panels and listening to stories. I’m so excited to have these wonderful people here today to talk about Type Twos during a global pandemic, how they’re coping, and what wisdom they have to share. Thank you both for being open; we’re grateful for your words and presence!
Elizabeth Dodds
1. What has it been like being a Type Two during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?
I have found myself wanting to cocoon myself in my home even more. Making my home a comfortable, happy place for myself and my family. It has been very hard having my two oldest children living three hours away during unsure times. Feeding my family and having them all under one roof is kind of a balm to my soul, so this has been tough! Social distancing has also given me a pass not to be ‘on’ at all times, like when at the grocery store, etc. The masks and need to keep distanced is permitting me not to have to engage or have conversations or connections when I’d rather not. Feelings don’t get hurt!
2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Two?
I love many things about being a Two (and dislike just as many). The thing I love the most is the ability to bring people comfort. Creating an environment within my home or my personal space lets people feel at ease and loved.
3. Tell us about pride. How do you engage with pride and calm it, so that you’re able to know you are loved, liked, and wanted just as you are?
Pride is a trait I haven’t quite mastered, whether too much or too little. I find myself downplaying my successes and dismissing compliments often. Feeling loved and liked for just who I am…this is my struggle still.
4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Eight to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Twos about choosing some of the high side traits of Eight to be of service to you in Stress?
My stress move to a Type Eight has been showing itself more often! I think the election season pushed it into gear. I have been voicing my opinions more readily and trying not to quiet myself for others’ approval.
5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
I identify with the Sexual/One-to-One subtype. Craving connection, commonality, heightened energy, family connections, people that you just ‘click’ with. This is something that has been there since the beginning. I take note of the energy I receive from people and try to take note. On a daily basis, I see this at work. I am in retail, and connections with people are what keeps loyal customers coming back. That spark, the ability to notice something or someone, matters. You would think this would mean I have tons of deep connections, but it feels easier to connect with others about themselves and keep their connection to me on a surface level. Few are as close to me as they may feel.
6. From the perspective of a Type Two, how can we love each other well during these difficult times?
Loving others right now can be difficult, right? I’m having a hard time myself! What we can do is love our own family and friends with a fierce and unwavering love. Stand up for those who need your support and voice. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations and risk disconnecting from someone you love to avoid the awkwardness. I don’t have an answer, really, but I do know that reaching outside of ourselves and reaching into our communities is love. That is what I plan to do more of in 2021.
1. What has it been like being a Type Two during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?
I’m an introverted Type Two, so that part is okay. I’m also a Social Subtype Two, so I really focus more on community-level things. What’s been hard for me is the BLM protests and things like that. I want to go do all of it, but I don’t feel safe. When I hear about the need for volunteers to work at the vaccine sites, I wonder if I can do it and not be exposed to people.
2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Two?
Rooting for the underdog. I’ve always done that since I was little.
3. Tell us about pride. How do you engage with pride and calm it, so that you’re able to know you are loved, liked, and wanted just as you are?
I always have to ask myself, “Is this mine to do?” It’s challenging for me to remember that I am loved and needed even if I’m not helping.
4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Eight to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Twos about choosing some of the high side traits of Eight to be of service to you in Stress?
I haven’t really done any work with this part of the Enneagram yet. It took me a while to accept that I am a Two because I didn’t want to be. I felt that it made me weak, going around begging for love.
5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
I am a Social Two. Sometimes Type Two things don’t seem to apply to me, because I am an introvert and don’t really do a lot of the typical “bring the casserole to the family who just had a baby” type things. But as I said above, my focus is on community-level things. I struggle because I want to be involved in ALL the causes. Kids in cages at the border? I should go down there and use my psychology degree to help! Immigrants going to court without interpreters? Who do I know who can translate, and can I get them down there? I can’t watch the news anymore because it’s too difficult; I want to help everyone with everything. When I was little, my mom would tell me, “You don’t have to save the world today.” And sometimes, my husband still has to tell me that.
6. From the perspective of a Type Two, how can we love each other well during these difficult times?
The thing I say all the time is that people are what matter. If you aren’t doing stuff to help people, what are you doing? If you are doing something that hurts people, stop it! I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s what I try to focus on.
![Re-Focus [By Enneagram Type]](https://i0.wp.com/enneagrampaths.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/markus-spiske-5224MQfpW1k-unsplash.jpeg?fit=1024%2C683&ssl=1)
