“I’ve never minded it,” he went on. “Being lost, that is. I had always thought one could not truly be lost if one knew one’s own heart. But I fear I may be lost without knowing yours.” ― Clockwork Prince
Another Type Five interview this week! I’m so happy my fellow nerd turtles are braving the world and willing to open up and share their heads and hearts with all of you. It’s hard for us Fives to trust that we can be ourselves and be accepted, maybe even loved! So glad to have you, Samantha, and thanks a million for giving all of us even more insight into the Olympic minds and deep feelings of Type Fives.
1. Fives see and experience the world by trying to make sense of it with their thoughts. Talk a little about how this shows up in your life.
As a Five, I feel like to fully experience something; I have to know a lot about it first. Like, it’s hard for me to really appreciate a movie unless I’ve researched everything about it beforehand. I’m really trying to balance out this part of myself by practicing being present and being curious about something instead of pulling out my phone to get the immediate answer. My partner is a Type Seven, and I’ve learned a lot from him because he is very present in his experiences. I can sometimes ruin the mood when we’re hiking and go into a monologue about how to survive a bear attack from every type of bear, bear traits, and bear facts. There’s a time and a place!
2. What happens to your closest relationships when you’re stressed and go to Arrow Type Seven? What happens when you’re healthy and go to Arrow Type Eight?
When I move to Seven in stress, I can either be really fun or like, a little much. I get really chatty and can’t stop moving. I’ll have a whole day of hopping around from one thing to another planned. This can be great for the people I’m in relationships with (because, whoa, I’ve actually planned things), or quickly draining, and then they need space. Mainly, when I move into Seven, I get really excessive with my needs and my wants. In turn, this causes me to ignore the needs and wants of my loved ones. I can become pretty self-absorbed when I’m stressed.
In Type Eight, I am a very encouraging friend. I’m a bold and confident communicator, and I’m not overly observant of myself, which allows me to be more present for my friends because I can easily forget about my social insecurities. I also become more assertive when I move into Eight. This can either be great in some relationships or offensive because it definitely helps me set boundaries that I’m not confident setting when I’m in full Five mode. Overall, in Eight, I’m able to identify and address the needs of others while also acknowledging my own. Then, I try to figure out how both of our needs can be met.
3. How does Avarice/Greed play out in your daily life? Do you find yourself hoarding time, energy, and resources?
Greed shows up for me with my time. I worry a lot about getting too engulfed in people’s lives because to me I feel like they will have unrealistic expectations of how much time I should spend with them. This is usually untrue, but this fear has stopped me from getting close to people before. I think it’s honestly just an excuse to comfortably lean back into a natural reclusive state. I’ve learned, though, that every time I do let go and share my time, it is so worth it and I feel so much better! I am always reminding myself that there is enough. There is enough time to go around, and it’s okay to share it.
At one point, I hoarded lots of books that I didn’t read, but having them around me felt really safe and comforting. I’ve since gotten rid of most of them and try not to get too attached to material things like that. Instead, I hoard library books because, at some point, I have to let them go (usually after lots of overdue notices!). If I’m feeling very Seven (very excessive), I get as many books as I can carry and bring them home with me and they usually remain un-cracked, but I just really like their company! Is this a problem? Probably. Yes. *Shrug*
4. Are you a parent? How does your Type influence parenting? If you’re not a parent, what do you imagine would be some strengths and weakness in being a Type Five parent?
I’m not a parent, but I think something that might be a weakness for me as a parent in the future would be not having enough energy to keep up with the littles. Like most Fives, I have a small tank of energy that can be drained pretty quickly. I really try to conserve my energy for my creative projects and work, so I just worry that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with everything. I think a strength would be my creativity and my ability to connect with kids. I work with children on a day-to-day basis and writing for kids is my life’s work. I love talking to kids, hearing their ideas, their stories, and I love being silly with them. Kids keep you in the moment, and I love that.
5. Tell us about your Wing. Do you know what it is? How does it color your experiences as a Five?
My enneagram wing is Four. I think my wing is a big part of my creativity. I’ve always been a dreamer and a little idealistic. I love exploring different outlets for my creativity. I love writing, photography, music, painting, video editing and crafting. I want to do anything and everything when it comes to art.
On the emotional side of the Four, I’m very introspective. Sharing can be fun for me and pretty easy at times until the Five pushes back and says, “Danger! Hoard your personal information, or it will be used against you!” *eye roll* So, these two sides fight quite often and can leave me sounding pretty vague when people try to connect with me. The Four side has allowed me to form deeply meaningful and rich relationships that I absolutely treasure. Though, when I’m first meeting someone, the Five is in high gear, and it usually takes months and months for the Four side to reveal itself. I’m trying to work on a balance between the two!
Overall, though, the Four really balances out my drive for dry, mundane information that my dominant type brings out. It reminds me to look at things creatively and not so analytically. I think it’s my fun side.
6. What would the phrase, “You know enough, you can handle this. You are wise,” mean to you if you knew it to be deeply true?
It would allow me to feel freer, less constrained, and not so concerned with incompetence. I wouldn’t constantly be searching or preparing (for what? I don’t know!). I would be able to let everything be and relax, and I would understand that what I need to know would come to me.
7. As a Type Five do you personally connect to spirituality? Are there any spiritual practices you participate in?
I connect to spirituality in nature because it’s there that I feel most present and in my body. I also practice meditation. Meditation reminds me of my breath. It reminds me that breath is life. It reminds me to slow down and take a look around to see without having to know exactly what I’m looking at.
8. How does emotion show up in your life? Do you value or suppress emotion?
I definitely suppress emotion. When I get sad, I get mad at myself for feeling sad. I try to practice holding onto an emotion, observing it, considering it for a little bit and then letting it go, so it doesn’t bottle up and explode one day. I am so envious of people who can process emotions quickly. I think it’s beautiful to be so in tune and able to just let the emotions flow. For me, it truly takes me months to process big life changes and how I feel about them. When emotion does show up immediately for me, like if there’s an argument and I get angry, or something sad happened, and I cry, I feel really out of control, like I’m crazy, when no, I’m just a human. I really need some kind of mantra for this! Any suggestions?
From Melissa: Feeling emotion is constant, daily work for me, too! My emotions overwhelm me in the moment, so I often have to pick a mantra like you and remind myself that “this will pass” or “feelings are healthy.” But I can’t lie, sometimes I just don’t know that something impacted me until a day or two later and I’m sobbing in the shower! Bodywork and grounding practices like yoga have helped me recognize when my body is alerting me to emotion by an adrenaline rush, tightened muscles, sweat… all those things we Fives try to ignore!)
9. Talk about what the words Voice and Relationship mean to you today.
Voice – Right now, voice is the thing I keep pushing toward the uppermost part of my heart because I want to remember to use it. I want to use my voice to encourage those I love. I want to give voice to my needs and to the needs of others, so they know they’re heard. I want to continue giving voice to characters I create. I want to stay true to my voice in my work and all that I do.
Relationship – Listening. Loving. Hard work. Good work. Soul work. Grace. Partnership. Good Intent. Kindness. Boundaries. Conflict. Selflessness. Joy. Fun. Presence. Laughter. Play.
Thank you, Samantha!!
Samantha Eubanks is a freelance writer working from Nashville, TN with a furry dog at her feet and a story at the tips of her fingers. You can follow her at @WritingWithSam on Twitter for updates on her creative projects and website, samantha-writes.com. When she’s not writing, Samantha is overcoming her fear of whales, dreaming of travel with her fiancé, and kissing her dog sloppily on the mouth.
“And the sun and the moon sometimes argue over who will tuck me in at night. If you think I am having more fun than anyone on this planet, you are absolutely correct.”
Healthy Sevens truly enjoy life and they see the world through a lens of optimism. This Type is highly energetic and fast-paced, always going and doing and being everywhere all at once. They have a wide range of abilities and gifts that span many different areas of life. At their best, they use their brainstorming skills to come up with new, innovative ideas and enjoy the entire process of implementing their plans. Sevens can quickly derive associations and interrelation’s between things that others would miss — their sharp minds perceive patterns and deeper realities that are not readily apparent. Healthy Sevens are highly creative and love to have multiple projects going at once. They swiftly get others involved in these projects with their enthusiasm and genuine high-spirits. The most important thing to realize about Sevens in health is they are happy because they have learned how to accept the reality of pain — without trying to escape from it. This ability to endure pain makes them resilient. Then, crisis turns into a challenge to overcome, instead of something to flee. At their best, Sevens are funny, engaging, fantastic storytellers, charming, and delightful to be around.
The racing mind of a Type Seven is attuned to getting them the hell away from anything boring. They fear boring. Feeling bored means that they might have to stop all the fun and deal with some hard things — like pain. Sevens do not want to feel pain, this is why they plan and move so fast.
Sevens appear smiling, engaged, and generally happy. Their eyes are wide and almost seem to sparkle. They talk with expressive hand and arm gestures and lean forward during conversations. They will crack jokes and have an animated energy to them, always moving about the room, always trying to find the center of all the action.
“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”
analytical skills to confidently lead their own unique life and take control of situations. They trust themselves, their hearts, and their instincts and can take individual action based on their gut instincts. They move about in the world with confidence in their decisions. Type Sixes can become productive troubleshooters who are amazing at spotting future problems or potential issues. Integrated Sixes can see the uplifting and inspirational side of life and develop a good sense of humor about things that go wrong. At their best, Sixes are sensitive and loyal friends, family members, employees, and citizens.
Fear is the central emotion in Sixes; a Phobic Six will flee from whatever causes them fear. A Phobic Six will literally exude nervousness. Their speech will be hesitant and sometimes they might stutter or mispronounce words. Their gaze will be scattered, moving around the room, not settling on anything for long. They can also put on a calm, compliant, warm front—in order to disarm other people. A Phobic Six will either consciously or unconsciously think, “When I am nice, it doesn’t cause trouble and I will be safe.” Their smiles will look strained and you may catch a suspicious sort of look in their eye; even while they’re working hard at being engaging. A Phobic Six is always watching you, always testing you. They are obedient to authority but also very suspicious.
Today, I’d love to welcome a guest blogger, Samantha Greenberg, who I had the good fortune of connecting with via Twitter. We found we share some life experiences, not the least of which is the fact that we’re both Type Fives! Sam is a researcher, currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Integral and Transpersonal Psychology and she was kind enough to answer some of my nerdy questions about her work and how she interacts with the world as an Enneagram Five.
Dance is another primary way for me to get out of my head and into my body. I went through a significant mental health recovery period in my later twenties where I spent time with meditation, yoga, somatic awareness. So at this point, I am pretty good at recognizing when the brain needs to stop. When it does, I try to draw my awareness down into my body. Embodied awareness is great for this and it also helps me sleep. The trouble with being a Five is that sometimes just moving the body isn’t enough. Like today I took a walk to “take a break,” but wasn’t conscious of where my attention was during the walk. I ended up with my brain/mind wandering the whole time and was more tired after the walk than before. 
Sam E. Greenberg is a writer and researcher, currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Integral and Transpersonal Psychology. Her research interests include: human sexuality and relationships, personality theory and ego structures (including the Enneagram!), psychospiritual wellness, social power dynamics, and mechanisms for addressing implicit bias. In her “spare” time, Samantha enjoys dancing, traveling, reading fantasy novels, and hanging out with her inscrutable dog, Luna.
“If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing.” ― 
The Passion Paths: Lead to Darkness, Disintegration, and Brokeness in Relationship to Self, God, and Others.
The Virtue Paths: Lead to Light, Integration, Love of Self, God, and Others.
“Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.” ― 
Giorgio Locatelli from Britain’s Big Family Cooking Showdown is the perfect example of a One. He literally prowls about the set, his brown eyes like lasers as he stares into the camera or the poor trembling cooks. He expects perfection he says, and nearly growls, “but I also am looking to see that they’re having fun!” Cooking must be fun for families and Giorgio is there to scare that fun into them whether they like it or not. He is quick to judge a dish “a shame” when it doesn’t come out absolutely perfect and it’s almost painful to watch the family cooks wilt under his harsh criticisms.
“Once upon a time, in a not-so-far-away land, there was a kingdom of acorns, nestled at the foot of a grand old oak tree. Since the citizens of the kingdom were modern, fully Westernized acorns, they went about their business with purposeful energy; and since they were midlife, baby-boomer acorns, they engaged in a lot of self-help course. There were seminars called “Getting All You Can out of Your Shell.” There were woundedness and recovery groups for acorns who had been bruised in their original fall from the tree. There were spas for oiling and polishing those shells and various acornopathic therapies to enhance longevity and well-being.
Our numbers are simply the patterns of behavior and thought and interactions with the world that we developed in our formative years to survive. There were certain things lacking that were necessary for our optimal health and growth, and we did not receive them—thus we adapted to the lack and created a personality or Type. To grow as spiritual human beings we must “shake off the limiting outer shell of our personality and grow into all that we were meant to be.” (
“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”-–Vince Lombardi
They can obsessively succeed in any area of life: relationships, work, or as a parent or spouse, but usually, they tend to focus on work. They want to be seen as prestigious and professional and so they will work until they drop (and maybe never drop). They will achieve goals and complete tasks in a fast-paced and efficient manner.