“If I can do things right, I don’t see why everyone else can’t.” ― Courtney Summers, Cracked Up to Be
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ― Rumi
Monday interview time! Today, I have Rachel Hamm here, an Enneagram Type One — which is also sometimes called “The Perfectionist”. Rachel and I have actually been friends for a long time. Alas, she moved away a number of years ago but we still have the best, deep conversations on the phone! Welcome, Rachel, and thank you for sharing your growing knowledge of the Enneagram and what it means for you to be a Type One.
Enneagram Type One
1. How do you as an Enneagram One move about in the world? How does your number impact your daily life?
I’m always moving. I almost never “shut down” or “slow down.” I have lists upon lists in my head that include what I need to do at the moment and all kinds of projects I want to improve upon in the future. But, at the same time, I can become paralyzed in the midst of projects where I don’t know the next perfect or ideal step. For instance, I can’t complete something until I know the BEST way to accomplish it (physically, financially, logistically, relationally, spiritually, etc. etc.)
2. Does having a fairly constant inner critical voice impact your body? Ones are in the Body Triad and I’m wondering how it feels on the inside to a One?
I didn’t realize it until recently but the critical voice (and genetics) have caused a lot of anxiety for me. I can feel overwhelmed by all I want to do — to the degree that I think I “need” to do these things — and it can build up like pressure in my chest so that it feels like I’m holding the weight of the world and can barely breathe. In the past, and in not being a healthy One, my body was affected by high anxiety, an inability to rest/relax, and always having to be on the move, on the go, doing more and more to the point of exhaustion. Sleep has never come easily to me, likely genetic but also being a Type One, I have a hard time shutting down. My body is in a constant state of inertia, driven by my inner voice that “it’s never enough.”
3. What happens within your closest relationships when you are stressed (Arrow to Type Four)? What happens within your closest relationships when you are integrated/healthy (Arrow to Type Seven)?
Arrow to Four in Stress: “Black and White” thinking has been my life. I can “see” so clearly what is right and wrong and true and false in other people. In other words, I am quite a judgmental know-it-all, even if well-intentioned.
Arrow to Seven in Health: I’m no longer codependent; focused on fixing others. I allow time, space, themselves, and God to change their lives, in their time and God’s way. I can love and forgive myself, and therefore love and forgive others with much grace. The wisdom I have is shared, “seasoned with salt” and is usually found valuable by others, BUT my identity or value is not found in whether they find me or my suggestions valuable. There is room for others to grow in the way they need to (from God’s point of view) and not just how I think they need to. And the same for me, I have room to grow, without knowing the plan or foreseeing the future. I can trust more freely both God and others.
4, What do you love about your number? What do you dislike the most?
I love that I have integrity and am not lazy. I admire those characteristics in myself and others. I think we are world-changers in many ways. I love the fact that I love to grow. I’m always open to learning and growing in any avenue of my life. I don’t like that in my black and white “clarity” of situations — and in my hot lifelong pursuit of correcting what I deem as “wrong” or “to be improved upon” — I have unknowingly, unwillingly, and unintentionally hurt, offended others, and made close friends feel isolated or judged. I would never want that to happen, I’m usually just trying to help!
5. What practices have you integrated into your life as a One to help you become more self-aware and grow? Are there any spiritual practices you connect to the most that might tie into your number?
I know I need space and time and quiet to be able to think, process my thoughts, and to be able to pray. 
Recently, I’ve realized to best hear my spiritual voice (the voice of God through the Holy Spirit), I need my body to be working but not my mind. For instance, weeding, gardening, biking, swimming laps — all bodily movement things that free my mind. My body is a slave to my mind, or my mind is freed by my body; something like that! I find if I put my body to work at reforming something or improvement, then my mind is free to process, to dream, and to recalibrate the critical inner voice — and to just be.
6. What do you wish people understood about your number? What are maybe some common misconceptions?
I wish people understood that whatever you say about me that is critical, I’ve already said it one hundred times to myself. And that I am extraordinarily sensitive and fragile on the inside in response to criticism, disappointing, or hurting others, despite the fact that I might have a tougher exterior. If I wound someone else, it wounds me at least twice as bad and will take me longer to forgive or forget my own imperfection. Also, that I really do want what [I think] is best for you!! My heart is in the right place, even if my words or tone come across otherwise.
7. As a child, do you feel that somewhere along the line you picked up the message that, “You must always be better than you are?”
My dad is a Type One as well. I often hear his voice in my head saying, “If you’re not going to do it right, you might as well not do it at all!” I think it’s a mantra for my life, haha!
8. Talk about what the words joy, spontaneity, and pleasure mean to you today.
Freedom. So. Much. Freedom. I have been trapped for far too long as an unhealthy One. Today, I am able to find gratefulness and an abundance of joy in the littlest things again — being tickled by my kids while my dog tries to lick me, my daughter’s curls, or fresh produce! I’ve started to be spontaneous again, and I know my kids really appreciate that side of me because they always thank me profusely and tell me how much they love me when I’m fun and able to enjoy them and enjoy life. That’s what I want to be able to teach them how to do.
Rachel is a married mother of three kids and a recovering perfectionist who is trying to find joy and God’s hand in everything, everywhere. She loves learning, gardening, farm-to-table cooking, dog kisses, and being an effective steward all of the gifts God has given her. She has a passion for sharing life-tips and resources on being purposeful with faith, family, finances, food, fitness, and (sometimes) fashion. She’s an ex-accountant and finance guru that now stays home and tries to play with her kids more. She dislikes olives, parades, large groups of children, and littering. Follow Rachel on Instagram @passionately_purposeful and her (maybe) soon to be blog www.passonatelypurposeful.com.
*Photos by Marcus Löfvenberg , Ryoji Iwata , Yoal Desurmont ,Bobby Rodriguezz on Unsplash
“And the sun and the moon sometimes argue over who will tuck me in at night. If you think I am having more fun than anyone on this planet, you are absolutely correct.”
Healthy Sevens truly enjoy life and they see the world through a lens of optimism. This Type is highly energetic and fast-paced, always going and doing and being everywhere all at once. They have a wide range of abilities and gifts that span many different areas of life. At their best, they use their brainstorming skills to come up with new, innovative ideas and enjoy the entire process of implementing their plans. Sevens can quickly derive associations and interrelation’s between things that others would miss — their sharp minds perceive patterns and deeper realities that are not readily apparent. Healthy Sevens are highly creative and love to have multiple projects going at once. They swiftly get others involved in these projects with their enthusiasm and genuine high-spirits. The most important thing to realize about Sevens in health is they are happy because they have learned how to accept the reality of pain — without trying to escape from it. This ability to endure pain makes them resilient. Then, crisis turns into a challenge to overcome, instead of something to flee. At their best, Sevens are funny, engaging, fantastic storytellers, charming, and delightful to be around.
The racing mind of a Type Seven is attuned to getting them the hell away from anything boring. They fear boring. Feeling bored means that they might have to stop all the fun and deal with some hard things — like pain. Sevens do not want to feel pain, this is why they plan and move so fast.
Sevens appear smiling, engaged, and generally happy. Their eyes are wide and almost seem to sparkle. They talk with expressive hand and arm gestures and lean forward during conversations. They will crack jokes and have an animated energy to them, always moving about the room, always trying to find the center of all the action.
I tend to speak before I think. I speak directly from what I’m feeling, with no filter that this may not be something appropriate or what others would want to hear. In my heart, it feels like “what I feel is something that will help them” or ” they should know this”. But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, I can get into trouble for being too brutally honest. When I’m stressed I don’t notice or accept it until my muscles are spasming and my tension headaches are debilitating. My body has to tell me to stop and slow down because my brain does not.
When I move toward Arrow Type Four, I want to share everything. I’m inspired to write a book or a blog or share every good thing on social media. I want to hug my children and never let go while watching them do amazing things from afar without interfering.
drinking tea and reading a great book. Or working together as a family to accomplish a common goal. Helping one another is fun to me.
Jess is a mom of two young boys and two energetic dogs. On weekends she can be found teaching wood sign painting classes through her own small business, Sparkles and Crafts. Day to day, she’s a stay-at-home mom who is busy cleaning up messes and cooking up loads of delicious grub. When given a hot cup of Earl Grey and a cupcake, there is nothing she can’t do. You can find her on Facebook at 
“There is no Space or Time
I’ve had to find gentler ways to approach people in a conflict so I don’t scare them away from communicating with me; to give them space to process and come back to me later. It’s extremely hard for me to wait on other people to sort out conflict, but I have to keep repeating the mantra: “Just because it’s not solved today, doesn’t mean it won’t be solved.”
I think the experience of what happens to our bodies in response to anger or challenge is central to being an Eight. I literally feel like I am physically growing and my presence in a room seems quantifiably larger to me. When I’m in a highly emotional state, it’s often hard for me to be touched, because I can feel energy rolling off my skin like heat. All of my emotion radiates out from my gut and core, and when I disintegrate, that’s also where things go wrong and I end up with digestive and lower back problems. I mentioned physical activity as an outlet earlier, and I really need to engage my body through breathing exercises, yoga, walking, or punching things if I want to calm down.
Affection – I’m actively seeking to be more receptive to and expressive of affection. For me, it’s sort of like trying on clothes that are not at all your normal style. I tell myself that I’m going to try it out, and it’s probably going to look awkward and feel kind of uncomfortable, but I’m at least going to put it on and sashay around in front of the mirror for a few minutes before I decide to discard it. And sometimes I end up deciding it’s the perfect thing to keep on for a few hours. I haven’t overhauled my wardrobe yet, but I keep a few pieces around for regular use. Have I exhausted this metaphor yet? People regularly hug me now and I don’t freak out. Often, I even like it. Occasionally, I initiate it, and that is huge.
Rev. Stacey Midge serves as the pastor of Mt. Auburn Presbyterian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio. She’s a musician, hockey fan, and traveler, but does all things at the beck and call of her elderly hound, Laila. Stacey has been working with the Enneagram personally for about ten years and recently started integrating it into congregational ministry. You can find her on her website 
Health: In health, I’m a very protective, selfless person. It’s really interesting how much of a Type Two I embody in health. I can process and work through feelings. I don’t care about asserting my dominance. I still express anger, though—I’m not afraid to show anger in either stress or health. I think the most important thing is, in health, even if I think someone is trying to control me, I don’t feel scared or defensive because I’m in total control of myself. For me, it’s taking a lot of my energy to consistently function as an integrated Eight. I have a lot of counter-instinctual behaviors to adjust to. When I visualize an Eight in health, I picture a beautiful house, one that was made to be enjoyed by guests to find safety and rest (that’s the Type Two). This house, however, is enclosed by the most impenetrable wall that no one can get in unless I let them.
Have you ever seen an Eight walk into a room? As an Eight, even I’M captivated. We’re some of the most authentic and captivating types. The main thing I love about Eights is the authenticity we live in. We truly are ourselves, for better or worse.
Lastly, w
people lie. Mainly about stupid stuff. For me, I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t keep their mouth shut, instead of unnecessarily lying about something. Most of the time, the truth comes out and you look stupid. That’s intense I know, but I hate lying. Moral of the story: If we’re friends, tell me the truth, I can handle it
Hi, I’m Asia! (Yep, just like the continent) I live in Orange County, but grew up in San Diego. My life consists of tweeting, getting far too invested in the Enneagram, and watching too much reality TV. Follow me on Twitter @AsiaJaLacie
“I’ll stop wearing black when you make a darker color.” — Fall Out Boy
Type Fours are often quite creative; the artists and writers and musicians and photographers and dreamers of the world. Though any type may be an artist, Fours are the most common because they desire authenticity and unique expression above all else. They want to be the truest version of themselves and bring an idiosyncratic perspective to whatever they do. This can show up in their outward appearance; Fours usually have a certain aesthetic in the way they dress. They will have kooky, artsy, or highly fashionable clothes or an avant-garde hairstyle—whatever they feel expresses their inner-self best. Some Fours go through a “goth” phase, being drawn to dark makeup and clothing.
Fours in autopilot get lost in longing. They long for love above all else and feel that there is something broken or missing inside of them that prevents them from finding or keeping love. They fabricate an ideal of love and can lose themselves in fantasies about it. This fantasizing fulfills them—but just for a while—and then the need for real love takes over and they search for it in others. The tricky thing is that they’re almost addicted to this longing; it’s like a cat and mouse game inside their hearts. The longing itself is what feels special, but once they find love, they quickly become dissatisfied with messy reality and push their lovers away. Back and forth, around and around they go.
Arrow to One in Health
“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”
analytical skills to confidently lead their own unique life and take control of situations. They trust themselves, their hearts, and their instincts and can take individual action based on their gut instincts. They move about in the world with confidence in their decisions. Type Sixes can become productive troubleshooters who are amazing at spotting future problems or potential issues. Integrated Sixes can see the uplifting and inspirational side of life and develop a good sense of humor about things that go wrong. At their best, Sixes are sensitive and loyal friends, family members, employees, and citizens.
Fear is the central emotion in Sixes; a Phobic Six will flee from whatever causes them fear. A Phobic Six will literally exude nervousness. Their speech will be hesitant and sometimes they might stutter or mispronounce words. Their gaze will be scattered, moving around the room, not settling on anything for long. They can also put on a calm, compliant, warm front—in order to disarm other people. A Phobic Six will either consciously or unconsciously think, “When I am nice, it doesn’t cause trouble and I will be safe.” Their smiles will look strained and you may catch a suspicious sort of look in their eye; even while they’re working hard at being engaging. A Phobic Six is always watching you, always testing you. They are obedient to authority but also very suspicious.
My family does not tolerate crying. When I cried as a child my mother often told me I was, “Out of control.” So I learned to hide. My household was verbally and emotionally abusive and if I wanted to cry about it I had to go into the woods alone (without my Eight brother) or take a long shower where the sound of the water would drown out the sound of my tears. Now, as an adult, they still don’t allow me to cry. If I cry—or show any emotion—I’m told to “calm down” or “stop being ridiculous”. This from my mother, father, and brother.
It is the hardest thing ever. Ever. Ever-ever. As a Type Five and the most introverted introvert I’ve ever met, having a (for now) Type Seven child and Type Eight child with a Type Three husband has burnt the shit out of all my energy reserves. Oh my gosh. It’s so freaking hard. I can’t state enough the difficulty of caring so deeply about two beings (one who is adopted and that’s a whole other thing) and yet I don’t want to be around them 95% of the time.
