Tag: enneagram paths

Enneagram Type 2: Enneagram Art Series

Enneagram Type 2: Enneagram Art Series

Posted on by melissakircher

Hello Enneagram Paths friends! Today, I’m bringing you the second installment of my Enneagram Art Series, melding two of my passions: art and the Enneagram.

This Type Two artwork is the second in a series of nine illustrated paintings that visually imagine the essence and integration experience of each Enneagram Type. Here on the blog, I want to give you both the art and the creation intention behind each piece. But don’t worry, I dislike long artsy-fartsy art descriptions as much as the next person. So instead, I aim to provide a brief, succinct peek into my mind as I painted each piece. The rest of the feeling, resonating, and interpreting is up to you!

Type Two: With this illustrated painting, I wanted to honor the heart of Twos, who see the rainbow of possibilities in other people. They give of themselves to help the rest of us shine! The arrows and blue marks around the reflected rainbows represent the energy of giving and receiving that surrounds a Two in health or integration. You will notice that the arrows point outward and inward, signifying that Twos can learn to give to themselves and receive from others. The black lines that hem in the colors of each strand in the rainbows are healthy boundaries. The heart of each rainbow is loosely figurative, forming an “I” on the top and a “You or U” on the bottom. The I and U represent the ability of Type Twos to be the beautiful rainbow of themselves and differentiate from the rainbow of others. They learn to radiate their own unique light and colorful imprint on the world.

High-Res Digital Download Link

Framed Society6.com Prints

I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to leave me feedback on my @enneagrampaths Twitter and Instagram. All nine illustrated paintings will be shared on social media.

Make sure to check out my FREE Type Two Self-Love Workbook!

My Enneagram Box: Review

My Enneagram Box: Review

Posted on by melissakircher

Hello Enneagram Paths friends! Today, I’m excited to share something a little different with you all, a review. A couple of months ago, a new company called My Enneagram Box reached out to me and asked if I’d be willing to check out their new box subscription service based on the nine Enneatypes. The box came last week and… It. Was. So. Fun.

Here is the company’s mission statement:

“My Enneagram Box is a quarterly subscription box based on your Enneagram type, delivered to
your doorstep! Each box is uniquely curated to make the Enneagram tangible by including items that foster growth, celebrate uniqueness, and encourage self-care.”

I admit I was a little skeptical about things/gifts based on type; there is a risk that type boxes could be a little shallow in the wrong hands. How delightful it was to find out this is not the case with My Enneagram Box!

My Enneagram Box comes beautifully packaged with materials that are paper-based and recyclable – Earth win! And the contents are super cool. I found myself both emotionally moved and laughing while unpacking everything inside.

The first thing that sticks out to me is a note from the company, specially catered to the type receiving the box. It included positive, integrated aspects of a Type 5 and reminded me that I have unique gifts to offer the world. You can tell My Enneagram Box put a lot of heart into the note and it was well-received.

Now to the goodies! This box came with six different gifts. The first was a whole bag of Type 5 coffee from a company I already love, Enneagram Coffee. Having already tasted and approved this brew, I was thrilled to see that these two companies have teamed up. Trust me; it’s a good cup of coffee. Next was a beautifully designed packet of “Untranslatable Words.” I laughed and was then immediately intrigued, reading through them like the curious little monster I am. Then came the “I Need Some Serious Me Time” journal, which is both humorous and inviting to Type 5s who can always use more resources on how to care for themselves well.

I loved the two smaller items in the box, Placebos’ “Confidence” and “Believe In Yourself” lip balm.

And the piece de resistance of this particular iteration of the Type 5 box: a “Personal Library Kit” by Knock Knock’s. Did I nerd out over this? Yes, yes, I did. The kit includes old-school return packets (self-adhesive) for the back of your books, a date stamp and ink pad, and twenty checkout cards. Will I be using this? Yes, yes, I will!

Lastly, there is a sheet that recommends nine Enneagram Instagram accounts to follow for tons of excellent Enneagram content. I’m honored and delighted that My Enneagram Box included @EnneagramPaths on this list:)

Overall, I am blown away by how carefully curated this box is, striking the perfect mix of seriousness, heart, and levity. I think any Type 5 would felt seen and known when opening this box. I’d wholeheartedly recommend buying a box subscription for yourself as well as all nine types of your friends and family. Support this fledgling business today; you won’t be sorry!

Check out: Myenneagrambox.com for their next round of boxes or to get a box delivered per quarter. And make sure to follow them on Instagram at @myenneagrambox. Enjoy!

Remember: How Each Enneagram Type Seems vs. How They Actually Are

Remember: How Each Enneagram Type Seems vs. How They Actually Are

Posted on by melissakircher

Remember is a powerful word. Why? Because we humans, despite all our learning and education and wise living, are prone to forgetfulness. We forget that not everyone else thinks, feels, and acts like us. We forget that everyone sees the world through their own unique lenses. We forget because it’s just a natural thing to do!

Sometimes, we need a little help with remembering. A gentle nudge to restore our compassion and empathy for another who seems rather alien (or irritating) to us! Here is a list of things to remember about each Enneagram Type.

Type One

They give the best advice, allow space for anger, are fantastic problem solvers, and make us cry-laugh with their great sense of humor.

Remember: Type Ones might seem harsh and judgemental to you, but they are so much harder on themselves. Compassion and levity go a long way in relationships with Ones.

Type Two

They are such a source of encouragement, root for the underdogs, know exactly what you need when you’re low, and truly care about everyone doing well.

Remember: Type Twos can seem overly involved and extra cheerful to you, but they are actually giving out the kind of love they need to receive. Thoughtfulness and reaching out go a long way in relationships with Twos.

Type Three

They want you to reach your fullest potential, believe in the greatness of others, care deeply, and want the world to be an amazing place.

Remember: Type Threes might seem disingenuous and unemotional to you, but they have actually lost their connection to self in order to please everyone else. Offering grounded, heartfelt space to process will go a long way in relationships with Threes.

Type Four

They are masters of metaphor, make ample space for other’s pain, delve into authenticity with vigor, and can pinpoint feelings with serious accuracy.

Remember: Type Fours might seem dramatic and mysterious to you, but they are actually seeking a deep understanding of themselves and all of life. Offering stories about your own emotional landscape will go a long way in relationships with Fours.

Type Five

They are thoughtful, measured, funny, spontaneous, curious, and care for their chosen tribe and projects with great zeal.

Remember: Type Fives might seem aloof and detached to you, but they are actually making sure that when they do show up, it’s with care, empathy and 100% presence. Believing in the deep, vast hearts of Fives will go along way in relationships with them.

Type Six

They are loyal friends and partners, kind, care deeply about everyone’s wellbeing and are totally prepared badasses.

Remember: Type Sixes might seem wary to you, but this is not your fault. They are trying to figure out if they trust themselves about trusting you. Being forthright about who you are and where things stand will go a long way in relationships with Sixes.

Type Seven

They are sensitive, deep, bright, infused with curiosity, go-getters, and full of zest.

Remember: Type Sevens might seem scattered and flaky to you, but they are actually trying to get the most out of life. Being calm and centered will go a long way in relationships with Sevens.

Type Eight

They have your back, live with passion, are seriously compassionate, strong and fight for the underdog.

Remember: Type Eights might seem intense and intimidating to you, but they are actually wearing this specific armor to keep their big hearts safe. Standing your ground with compassion will go a long way in relationships with Eights.

Type Nine

They are warm, inviting, calm, fierce, smart and understand others with great depth.

Remember: Type Nines might seem checked out to you, but they are actually working hard to keep all their connections intact. Asking what they want, with tons of space and time for answers, will go a long way in relationships with Nines.

Are you unsure about your Type? Have you taken online assessments and found them to be confusing and unhelpful? I, Melissa, am here to help with 1-hour phone Typing Sessions! I’m a certified Enneagram Teacher who can untangle the often mystifying world of typing! Click here to get more information about your unique session: ENNEAGRAM TYPING SESSIONS

Re-Focus [By Enneagram Type]

Re-Focus [By Enneagram Type]

Posted on by melissakircher

“Very occasionally, if you pay really close attention, life doesn’t suck.”
― Joss Whedon

During my time with The Coaching Fellowship, one of the many lessons my coach taught me was, “What you focus your attention on determines what you miss.” Shout out to my coach, the fantastic Janice Reches!

I don’t know about you, but I constantly have to re-orient my focus of attention to have a more broad, truer version of reality in my sights. Just today, I had to remind myself to look for abundance instead of mentally pinpointing all the areas my Type Five ego said were barren and scarce. Shifting my focus immediately changed my perspective and mood! And you know what? There was a white bowl filled to the brim with juicy oranges in front of me. Abundance right under my nose!

Where do you need to re-focus today? Here are some tips by type to help you get started!

Type 1: Ones, you focus your attention on what needs to be improved or fixed in any given situation or relational space. This is exhausting. To avoid burnout, can you try to notice moments where you feel satisfied or light? The experience of both these things will retrain your brain to see the full spectrum of life.

Type 2: Twos, you often leave an event, meeting, group, or hang-out with the question of, “Was I wanted?” Instead, try re-focusing on curiosity about, “Did I enjoy those people? What made me light up during that time? Do I want to continue to be a part of this scene?”

Type 3: Threes, you are often preoccupied with how well you are doing in any given circumstance, how people see you. Instead, try to re-focusing on being present, noticing how your body feels when someone says something or any emotions that well up within. Can you notice your existence?

Type 4: Fours, you tend to be hyper-aware of feelings of superiority and inferiority to others. You swing, dizzyingly, between the two. Could you try to re-focus on all the similarities between yourself and others> How do you see yourself belonging to the world?

Type 5: Fives, you get lost down rabbit-holes of attention-time-sucks like Google to stave off the feeling that the world will swallow you whole. Scarcity drives you. Instead, try to re-focus on abundance, noting any little place or things that give you joy. Mantra, “I’m looking for abundance.”

Type 6: Sixes, you often have scanning sort-of attention, warily assessing if others are trustworthy. Instead, try shifting your focus onto yourself. Where have you proven to yourself that you’re trustworthy? Can you see areas of strength and capability?

Type 7: Sevens, you tend to focus on future-oriented ideas, imaging what could be and missing out on what is. Could you practice feeling grounded in the present by wiggling your toes, breathing deeply, noticing the temperature of the room, and listening to the sounds all around you?

Type 8: Eights, you move out into the world, scanning for where you can exert power and control, using up energy better spent on doing things that truly matter to you. Can you try identifying who else might take over so that you can relax and get down to your own business?

Type 9: Nines, many of you find that focus is lacking, getting caught up in whatever person or situation is right in front of you. However, even a lack of attention is attention. Can you find your focus by creating small moments for yourself each day? Ask, “What do I feel, think, or want?”

Is Enneagram Coaching right for you? Set up a free 15-minute consultation today to find out! I have a few spring openings left!

Cover Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

An Enneagram Two During a Pandemic: Andréa Mcinnis

An Enneagram Two During a Pandemic: Andréa Mcinnis

Posted on by melissakircher

Welcome back, Enneagram Paths friends! Today we hear from another fantastic person on what it’s like to move about in the world with Type Two energy. As we deal with the ongoing pandemic, it’s important to listen to each other, absorb how others are experiencing life, and learn how we each deal with these unprecedented times in a myriad of ways. Thank you, Andréa, for being here today!

1. What has it been like being a Type Two during Covid, quarantine and social distancing? How have you coped?

Being a Two during Covid has definitely had its ups and downs. I moved to Nashville in August of 2019 and didn’t make many friends until January of 2020. So, in some ways, it wasn’t a whole different than when I first moved because I didn’t know many people. So, I utilized what I did when I wasn’t as rooted. While I couldn’t meet with my friends in person, we would FaceTime almost every day. I also joined a small group with my church that met over Zoom. In some ways, it was hard because my love languages are physical touch and quality time, but FaceTiming and phone calls helped fill my social quota. My friends and I would also use Netflix party and play games over zoom, which was a lot of fun! At the beginning of quarantine, I also made sure to go outside as much as possible and have some kind of routine. Since things have opened up more, it’s gotten easier to do social distancing activities!

2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Two? 

The thing I like most about being an Enneagram Two is that it’s pretty easy to make friends. Most people trust me relatively quickly. 

3. Tell us about pride. How do you engage with pride and calm it, so that you’re able to know you are loved, liked and wanted just as you are?

A lot of therapy and self-care. My therapist and I talk a lot about meeting my own needs and affirming myself—instead of gaining those things from friends and family. I’m also learning that when I have expectations that others to receive what I give them (time, encouragement, etc.), I have to voice those expectations. It’s definitely challenging and doesn’t come easy, but I’m slowly making progress. Intentional self-care has also helped. Claiming that I am caring for myself by watching a TV show or going to the gym instead of just doing it has allowed me to become friends with myself and not so heavily rely on others to fill that need of feeling loved.

4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Eight to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Twos about choosing some of the high side traits of Eight to be of service to you in Stress?

One of the ways I use my Stress Arrow is through voicing my needs or feelings when I’m stressed or feel like there’s a strain in a relationship. At a certain point, I stop hinting at what I want and express it directly. A tip I would say is to voice your needs when you need them instead of waiting. Obviously, it’s way easier said than done, but it reduces stress to be more direct. There is a nice way of expressing one’s needs without sounding harsh. Find safe people you can practice voicing your needs on!

5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?

I am a Self-Preservation Subtype. When I first read about the Enneagram, the Self-Preservation Two convinced me that I was a Two! It comes out in being carefree and silly whenever possible. Finding experiences that make me happy and that are life-giving are common practices of mine. It shows up in my relationships as well. I want to be the fun one that people want around but can also go deeper with. Opening up to even close friends can be harder for me because I would rather not have the focus on myself. 

6. From the perspective of Type Two, how can we love each other well during these difficult times? 

Give each other grace. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they’re given. Also, look outside yourself. We need community now more than ever. Utilize FaceTime, Zoom, Netflix party, social distancing picnics, or walks. Check-in on your friends and family, especially those who are struggling, and the ones that check-in on you. We all need a little encouragement. 

Hi! My name is Andréa! I’m twenty-eight-years-old, and I am an Enneagram 2w1 Seattle native living in Nashville, Tennessee. I’m currently a barista, and I’m in my second year of grad school for counseling. My dream is to do therapy with kids and adolescents, primarily through animal therapy. I’m a lover of animals, friends, lattes, and Taylor Swift. On days that I’m not working or doing school, I love to be outside exploring state parks, hiking, and being in the sunshine. I also enjoy traveling (when there isn’t a pandemic) and spending my time with my close friends, family, and dog Scooter. 

Twitter: @drizziedrebae

Instagram: @andrea_mcinnis

Two Twos: Interview with Elizabeth Dodds and Corrie Wilson

Two Twos: Interview with Elizabeth Dodds and Corrie Wilson

Posted on by melissakircher

Hello Enneagram Paths friends! Glad to have you this Monday to learn more about what it means to lead with Type Two! Here on Enneagram Paths, I like to ask the same questions of different people within a type; I find it highlights every person’s nuance and complexity. It’s similar to the Narrative Enneagram Tradition, where you learn type through panels and listening to stories. I’m so excited to have these wonderful people here today to talk about Type Twos during a global pandemic, how they’re coping, and what wisdom they have to share. Thank you both for being open; we’re grateful for your words and presence!

Elizabeth Dodds

1. What has it been like being a Type Two during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?

I have found myself wanting to cocoon myself in my home even more. Making my home a comfortable, happy place for myself and my family. It has been very hard having my two oldest children living three hours away during unsure times. Feeding my family and having them all under one roof is kind of a balm to my soul, so this has been tough! Social distancing has also given me a pass not to be ‘on’ at all times, like when at the grocery store, etc. The masks and need to keep distanced is permitting me not to have to engage or have conversations or connections when I’d rather not. Feelings don’t get hurt! 

2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Two?

I love many things about being a Two (and dislike just as many). The thing I love the most is the ability to bring people comfort. Creating an environment within my home or my personal space lets people feel at ease and loved. 

3. Tell us about pride. How do you engage with pride and calm it, so that you’re able to know you are loved, liked, and wanted just as you are?

Pride is a trait I haven’t quite mastered, whether too much or too little. I find myself downplaying my successes and dismissing compliments often. Feeling loved and liked for just who I am…this is my struggle still. 

4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Eight to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Twos about choosing some of the high side traits of Eight to be of service to you in Stress?

My stress move to a Type Eight has been showing itself more often! I think the election season pushed it into gear. I have been voicing my opinions more readily and trying not to quiet myself for others’ approval.

5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?

I identify with the Sexual/One-to-One subtype. Craving connection, commonality, heightened energy, family connections, people that you just ‘click’ with. This is something that has been there since the beginning. I take note of the energy I receive from people and try to take note. On a daily basis, I see this at work. I am in retail, and connections with people are what keeps loyal customers coming back. That spark, the ability to notice something or someone, matters. You would think this would mean I have tons of deep connections, but it feels easier to connect with others about themselves and keep their connection to me on a surface level. Few are as close to me as they may feel. 

6. From the perspective of a Type Two, how can we love each other well during these difficult times?

 Loving others right now can be difficult, right? I’m having a hard time myself! What we can do is love our own family and friends with a fierce and unwavering love. Stand up for those who need your support and voice. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations and risk disconnecting from someone you love to avoid the awkwardness. I don’t have an answer, really, but I do know that reaching outside of ourselves and reaching into our communities is love. That is what I plan to do more of in 2021.

>Connect with Elizabeth on Twitter at @llizziedodds & Instagram at @elizabeth.dodds

Corrie Wilson

1. What has it been like being a Type Two during Covid, quarantine, and social distancing? How have you coped?

I’m an introverted Type Two, so that part is okay. I’m also a Social Subtype Two, so I really focus more on community-level things. What’s been hard for me is the BLM protests and things like that. I want to go do all of it, but I don’t feel safe. When I hear about the need for volunteers to work at the vaccine sites, I wonder if I can do it and not be exposed to people. 

2. What is the thing you like the most about being a Two?

Rooting for the underdog. I’ve always done that since I was little.

3. Tell us about pride. How do you engage with pride and calm it, so that you’re able to know you are loved, liked, and wanted just as you are?

I always have to ask myself, “Is this mine to do?” It’s challenging for me to remember that I am loved and needed even if I’m not helping. 

4. How do you use your Stress Arrow to Type Eight to help you these days? Are there any tips you’d give other Twos about choosing some of the high side traits of Eight to be of service to you in Stress?

I haven’t really done any work with this part of the Enneagram yet. It took me a while to accept that I am a Two because I didn’t want to be. I felt that it made me weak, going around begging for love. 

5. Are you a Social, Self-Preservation, or Sexual/One-to-One Subtype? What does this instinct look like in your daily life? How does it drive some of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?

I am a Social Two. Sometimes Type Two things don’t seem to apply to me, because I am an introvert and don’t really do a lot of the typical “bring the casserole to the family who just had a baby” type things. But as I said above, my focus is on community-level things. I struggle because I want to be involved in ALL the causes. Kids in cages at the border? I should go down there and use my psychology degree to help! Immigrants going to court without interpreters? Who do I know who can translate, and can I get them down there? I can’t watch the news anymore because it’s too difficult; I want to help everyone with everything. When I was little, my mom would tell me, “You don’t have to save the world today.” And sometimes, my husband still has to tell me that.  

6. From the perspective of a Type Two, how can we love each other well during these difficult times?

The thing I say all the time is that people are what matter. If you aren’t doing stuff to help people, what are you doing? If you are doing something that hurts people, stop it! I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s what I try to focus on. 

>Connect with Corrie on Twitter at @Corrielw  & TikTok at @dr.corrie

*Cover Photo by McGill Library on Unsplash

Enneagram One Subtypes

Enneagram One Subtypes

Posted on by melissakircher

Welcome back, Enneagram Paths friends! Today we’re going to start a journey around the Enneagram circle and look at each number’s subtype. If you’re new to the world of subtypes and instinctual drives, I’d encourage you to read my post What are Subtypes? or go check out the amazing Dr. Beatrice Chestnut’s book on subtypes called, The Complete Enneagram.

Let’s dive in with Type One: The Improver

Social Ones

Social Ones are often more attentive to groups than the other two subtypes, caring intensely about networks. They invest in their neighborhoods, towns, communities, schools, and friends—all intending to improve these organizations and structures. Social Ones often feel pressure to live up to who they “should be” in each of these spaces to exemplify and enlighten others into more righteous behavior. They internally take on a teacher persona in situations, embodying the model or ideal of what a person should say or do—to be correct and do things well for everyone’s good. They truly see many of the areas in their circles of influence that could be improved or fixed. When using this energy in healthy ways and with a dose of humbleness, Ones are a great asset to their communities. If they focus too much on imperfections, though, Social Ones can neglect to identify all the wonderful gifts each community offers just as it is. Social Ones focus on issues of justice and wide-reaching reform, they like to pinpoint the errors and missteps of others, and in stress, this makes them seem rigid and angry with everyone. They may like to exert their power to force “right” change to happen. In health, they relax and enjoy the company of the people they love and care for and find creative ways to enact desired change without alienating their friends, coworkers, and communities.

Sexual Ones (Countertype)

Sexual Ones are outward focused, much more so than the Self-Preservation and Social Ones, in that they don’t expect as much perfection in themselves. The other two subtypes see where others can improve, but they first compel themselves to attain that desired flawless state. Not so the Sexual Ones. Sexual Ones are fixated on the intimate relationships in their lives: their romantic partners, family, close friends, and certain co-workers they feel a connection to. There is often a fervent, impassioned sort of energy they bring to these relationships, and they can come across as really intense. They are the Countertype because they allow anger to be expressed instead of repressing it, and they direct their anger at the imperfections of others. They seek to reform “their people” and pour gut triad fire and passion into molding others (and sometimes the world) into their ideal. They feel justified in these pursuits, permitting themselves to act in regal-type ways because they’re fixing what is wrong in someone and therefore doing the right thing. In more healthy spaces, Sexual Ones are excited about making and sustaining deep connections. They will be loyal friends, lovers, workers, and companions to their inner circle. Healthy Sexual Ones will be dedicated to their loved ones and work on their relationships with warmth, sincerity, and mutuality.

Self-Preservation Ones

Self-Preservation Ones want to have everything under control to get their needs met and not have to worry about unforeseen circumstances. They look into the future and plan for what might happen (much like Type 6) to stave off the almost constant sense that they “should” be doing something to make everything go well. They repress their anger more than the other two subtypes, often coming across as gentle and obedient. Internally, however, they have a well of rage that turns on the One, driving Self-Pres Ones into an obsession with self-perfection. Their anger scares them, it threatens their safety, so they work hard to become overly responsible, upstanding, and exemplary. Self-Pres Ones can feel triggered by criticism from others and become defensive or rigid. It is hard for them to get in touch with their feelings because they only allow themselves to feel whatever they (or society or culture) deem as “good”. In health, Self-Pres Ones let go and move more in the flow of things. They trust that the Universe holds them, and they engage in rest and relaxation. They more truly take care of themselves with love and then exude that love and care into the world. Healthy Self-Pres Ones know how to laugh and often have delightful senses of humor.

*Photo by Jonathan Hoxmark on Unsplash

Enneagram Types: Similarities & Differences

Enneagram Types: Similarities & Differences

Posted on by melissakircher

“..then he added, as if requiring a response to his own remark,
‘Probably the greater the difference, the greater the similarity, and the greater the similarity, the greater the difference,’ at that moment he did not yet know how right he was.” – José Saramago, All the Names

It is consistently interesting to me as I work with clients in my Enneagram Coaching Practice that both:

  1. Our external behaviours can look the same, yet have different internal emotional/energetic underpinnings.
  2. Our internal emotional/energetic underpinnings can be so similar and yet, have different external behaviors or manifestations.

Here is a series of observations I’ve made so far. This is just the tip of the iceberg though. We’re all interconnected and interwoven in such a way that I know I’ll be joyfully fascinated for the rest of my life! – Melissa

Type 9 & Type 5

Same: Both externally procrastinate when needing to complete important tasks. They fill the day with busywork.

Different: Type 5s internally fear being unable to handle the task and having to ask for help. Type 9s internally fear that the importance of the task will upset their inner balance/peace.

Type 4 & Type 7

Same: Both tend to quickly shift jobs, projects, interests, and relationships. This is often done unconsciously, neither Type aware of how much they change.

Different: Type 4s are searching for a sense of identity in each shift. Type 7s search for fulfillment and satisfaction with every move.

Type 2 & Type 8

Same: Both feel angry, often because their selfhood or boundaries are being violated in some way.

Different: Type 2s express their anger in explosive outbursts after trying to repress this particular emotion. Type 8s show their anger more easily and consistently, and move on from it quickly.

Type 3 & Type 6

Same: Both are excited planners, working diligently toward achievable goals.

Different: Type 3s are internally optimistic, believing everything will move smoothly and to great success. Type 6s expect that all manner of problems will arise and so they develop a myriad of contingencies just in case.

Type 1 & Type 5

Same: Both deal with voices of internal criticism and feeling not good enough.

Different: In response, Type 1s pour endless energy into improving all that surrounds them. Type 5s pick a few projects and try to silence their distrust of self with overzealous mastery.

Type 2 & Type 6

Same: Both appear externally warm and friendly in their many relationships.

Different: Internally, Type 2s cling to the love in their relationships; it gives them a sense of identity. Internally, Type 6s mistrust others, always keeping a watchful eye open for breaks in loyalty.

Type 3 & Type 4

Same: Both are intense and competitive, seeking outward recognition and approval.

Different: Type 3s push their true feelings aside to maintain momentum toward a goal. Type 4s lose goal momentum as their fluctuating feelings return them to an inward focus.

Type 7 & Type 9

Same: Both are adaptable, inviting, and would prefer to avoid conflict. Internally, both do not want to feel pain.

Different: Externally, Type 7s have a hectic, wild energy and express their desires. Type 9s live at a more measured pace, are generally mellow, and mesh with the desires of others.

Type 2 & Type 4

Same: Both are used to others liking them, seeking out relationships that bolster their self-confidence. Both are friendly and magnetic.

Different: Type 2s genuinely believe they can get anyone to like them, and it’s in inward image confirmation. Type 4s distrust their relationships and inwardly distrust that they are lovable.

Type 1 & Type 8

Same: Both are focused on control, feeling inwardly that if they have a sense of control, all will be well.

Different: Type 1s exert super-control over themselves and the details of their environment. Type 8s care about the big picture. They desire power to ensure they get what they want and everything stays together.

Can’t figure out your Type? I offer 1-hour Typing Sessions and have fall slots open! Click HERE to fill out a request and discover your number!

Enneagram Types: 7w6 vs. 7w8

Enneagram Types: 7w6 vs. 7w8

Posted on by melissakircher

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.” ― Noel Langley, The Wizard of Oz

Welcome to Enneagram Paths! Today, I’m sending you light and love during these strange and disorienting times. I thought now would be the perfect moment to dive deeper into Type Sevens, who often get a bad reputation for being “the fun, shallow Type”. I ADORE the Sevens in my life, and while it’s true that they are so much fun and a source of adventure and delight, I also find they have depth, wisdom, and a wealth of emotional intelligence to share with the world. Suzanne Stablile says this about Sevens in her book, The Path Between Us : “By refusing to seek fulfillment by any path other than their own, Sevens model for us the satisfaction that’s possible when we acknowledge the inherent value in our uniqueness. That kind of uniqueness needs to be honored and celebrated.”

So, let’s look together at the differences between a 7w6 and a 7w8, to better understand the complexity and shades of expression that exist within each Enneagram Type.

7w6

The 6w of an Enneagram Type Seven shades the person with a dose of relationship energy. 7w6s often have a friendly frame of mind and appear externally warm and open towards people. They are still lively and vivacious, of course. You can’t take the zip and dazzle out of a Seven! However, the 6w does moderate some of the adventurousness of Sevens, making them more reliable and responsible. They are good problem-solvers, but in a light-hearted way. 7w6s take their problems less seriously, having a sense of humor about hardships, while also making sure important issues are addressed. They have a shade of mellowness, and connect with their emotions more easily than 7w8s.

7w6s have an extra dose of the Head Center of Intelligence. They will often experience greater anxiety and fear. Sevens generally don’t want anyone to tell them what to do, yet the 6w pulls them towards strong people and gaining security from authority. These conflicting forces create a lot of internal tension. The Seven will desire to do something, but the 6w will start to doubt themselves and analyze the risks involved. This makes 7w6s more indecisive. The 7w6 will come up with great ideas, but then want to control every aspect of their projects. In health, the 6w lets go and the 7w6 can commit to a task, be a team player, and complete projects to great success! Healthy 7w6s are amazing friends, colleagues, and partners. They’re loyal and committed, while also being spontaneous and delighted by all aspects of life. In stress, 7w6s can feel stuck between the individualism of Type Seven and the corporal loyalty of the Type Six. This can make them frustrated and angry. By moving deeper into their emotions and allowing space for all the internal dissonance to coexist, the 7w6 finds that they are able to balance zest and moderation, knowing the appropriate time and place for the complex shades of their character.

7w8

7w8s are the more unconstrained and individualistic of these Enneagram Seven wings. They are entrepreneurial and courageous, and go after their ideas with great energy and tenacity. The 8w brings in a dose of the Body Center of Intelligence, gifting 7w8s with good instincts. They trust their guts and act with decisiveness.

In stress, 7w8s can exhibit a good deal of aggression and assertiveness. They are pleasure-oriented to an extreme. The 8w helps the Type Seven get exactly what they want. Stressed 7w8s can seem demanding and pushy. They become increasingly irresponsible and excessive the further they disintegrate. There is a “more is better” mindset. Short-term thinking can take over so the 7w8 gains things immediately without assessing any risks. Stressed 7w8s care less about people who feel limiting or who will frustrate their plans, which can lead to a trail of wrecked relationships, work, and finances.

In health, the 8w moderates the Type Seven’s natural anxiety, producing a more grounded Seven. They think, act, and feel concretely and with a straightforward attitude. They are decisive and practical, and move in reality instead of in their fantasies. 7w8s don’t mentally travel as much into the future anticipating what might go wrong. Instead, the 8w adds future goals and the ability to reach those goals with a strong willingness to take charge. They can seem less friendly than the 7w6, but only because they care less about what others think and refuse to be put into boxes. This natural ability to be themselves then extends to others, creating space for healthy individuality and uniqueness. Healthy 7w8 are honest and oriented towards justice. They do the right thing no matter what.

*Be sure to check out my new Enneagram Self-Love Downloads you can print and use instantly!*

Enneagram Orientation to Time

Posted on by melissakircher

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” 
― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay

Happy Monday, Enneagram Paths friends! Welcome back. I hope this post finds you safe and well. Today, we’re going to discuss time, specifically how each Enneagram Type has a dominant Time Orientation. For an in-depth look at this idea, I’d recommend The Enneagram Journey podcast Episode 50 by Suzanne Stabile. Basically, there are three (and doesn’t the Enneagram love that number?) Time Orientations: Past, Present, and Future.

Knowing our dominant Time Orientation helps us adjust our perspective when conflicts arise, allowing us to see other sides of a situation, and supporting us in working to understand where other people might be coming from in relation to their focus of attention. Which is the long and short of what Time Orientation is; it’s where we focus most of our thoughts and attention. We have access to all three orientations, so if you’re a Past Oriented person, consciously choosing to experience the present moment or planning for future goals would be healthy, holistic practices to engage in. If you’re a Future Oriented human, then reflect on the past; what went well or wrong, and what you can learn from those encounters, as well as trying to be present in each moment. If you’re Present Oriented, then past and future thinking will help you move out of getting lost in the moment. The key is always balance, accepting and loving how our Type has helped us survive, then inviting in new energies as we work toward integration.

*Please note: Right now, due to Covid shutdowns globally, we are experiencing time trauma; simultaneously processing a future that’s unknown, a present that changes hourly, and past that is re-evaluated. Hopeful trends can be sent backward, past lows can be interpreted as positive. This all at once present, past, and future shifting has us in a kind of “time warp” that can have real impact on our mental, emotional, and physical health. This is different from working toward Enneagram Time Orientation balance. Please make sure you are “making time” to process the disorientation of time. Talk to someone else. Listen to your heart and body. It’s okay to feel totally out of whack.

Past Time Orientation

Type Four:

Four’s emotions and thoughts center most often on what has already happened, what they regret, or an ideal experience they romanticize.

Type Five:

Five’s thoughts center most often on analyzing what has already happened, making sense of previous experiences and feelings, and coming up with logical solutions to earlier problems.

Type Nine:

Nines ruminate about how their lives were both positive and negative in the past, feeling stuck and unable to alter negative patterns or improve the good ones.

Present Time Orientation

Type One:

One’s act in either a flurry of movement or methodical steps, to correct and perfect moment-by-moment the things that come to their attention.

Type Two:

Type Two’s emotions and thoughts center often on what someone else needs, seeking to fulfill it immediately, without regard to past experiences or future consequences.

Type Six:

Sixes immerse themselves in whatever current situation is triggering the Type’s “danger” warning system.

Future Time Orientation

Type Three:

Threes are planning how to efficiently complete the next task and thinking about ways to successfully achieve their goals.

Type Seven:

Sevens can be constantly in motion, thinking about what next fun thing to do and moving toward an ever-evolving horizon.

Type Eight:

Eights seek to pave the way toward their goals by planning exactly how to power past any and all obstacles.

*Cover photo by Alex Perez on Unsplash